


Sweets and Soldiers

by Selena_Snow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin is my son, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, Levi is a Little Shit (Shingeki no Kyojin), Slow Burn, hangexoc, kind of, lots of sugar literally, no beta we die like men, she's a baker, the gays win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selena_Snow/pseuds/Selena_Snow
Summary: The people of Paradis have only just found out about their true origins, but that doesn't matter to Elloise Clairmont, head pâtissière for the royal family. Or rather, it wouldn't have if the new Queen hadn't invited the Scouts to stay at Mitras following the resealing of Wall Maria.It isn't too long before each of the Scouts worms their way into her heart...the Commander more than the others.A stupidly long Hange x OC one-shotSet directly after the basement findings, but before the expedition to find the sea. I'm an anime-only, so no manga spoilers here!
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Sweets and Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my dear friend prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+dear+friend+prompt).



> Hello! This has been a work in progress for over two months now, and believe it or not, the idea came from a TikTok audio. Anyways, join me and Ella as we fall in love with Hange, okay? Enjoy!

If you were to stand still, you would be able to see specks of flour drifting slowly in the steady stream of sunlight pouring in through the window. You would notice random smudges of chocolate on the counter, take in the jars filled with fresh vanilla beans and cinnamon sticks, and toe around the endless bags of sugar piled in the corner, sweet crystals spilling out onto the floor around them. All these things and more could be observed within the blink of an eye if you only took a moment to stand still and look.

But Elloise Clairmont never stood still. She couldn’t in this job. 

Working for the royal court had always required a high level of attentiveness. Even when she was training as her father’s apprentice, she’d been taught certain protocols— secure red locks in milkmaid braids to keep them out of the way, ensure the call bell hadn’t gathered rust, check the request box every hour on the hour, wipe down the counters three times a day, keep the pile of clean cloths on the right and dirty cloths on the left.

Outside the hallowed walls of her sanctuary, all everyone could talk about was the latest news release. There were whispers of words she’d never heard before— Subjects of Ymir, Eldians, Marley, titan shifters. But in her kitchen, none of that mattered. Ella was her father’s successor, the official pâtissière of the royal family, and she had a reputation to live up to after his passing. 

It had been several years since he’d died, yes, but the weight of her family’s long service in the court had never felt heavier. Today was her biggest event by far, and she wanted to impress the new Queen, regardless of how kind Her Majesty had already been. 

Green eyes flitted between the plates of apple crostatas, the pile of multi-colored macarons, and the tray stuffed to the brim with miniature chocolate cakes. These were the last of the desserts headed on their way to the banquet hall, where members of both the court and all three branches of the military would be meeting after the ceremony. In truth, Elloise didn’t know much about the celebration— in her briefing, it was mentioned that they were honoring the nine survivors of the re-sealing of Wall Maria, but even that important tidbit was passed over for the more pertinent information of how many guests would be in attendance.

As per usual, she was only told what she needed to know. And as always, Ella simply smiled and nodded because, well…that was her life. It was the world she lived in, the sheltered sphere she was born into. This was her life’s purpose— serve silently, don’t question things, stay in your place. In this place. In the innermost walls, never to leave. 

The clattering of a pan broke her thoughts, and Ella shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to contemplate things she couldn’t control. It wasn’t like she was complaining; she knew that she should be grateful for her status. She lived better than most in the walls. She just wanted something… _more_. 

A servant approached. “Are these ready to go, Ms. Clairmont?” 

“Yes!” she said, shooing her hand. “I was doing a final check over, but let’s not keep them waiting.” 

The two carefully settled the trays of sweets onto a cart, and then the servant was off with it down the hall. Pride filled her veins. That had been the last of it, and unless there were any complaints, it was a job well done. 

Turning back to her kitchen, Ella saw that her assistants were already hard at work cleaning up. “—can’t believe they’re going to be staying in the east wing,” Thomas was saying as he washed out a bowl. He was older than her by a few years and always of a cheerful disposition. 

Gabriele wiped up a smattering of caramel, sighing dreamily. “I know. I wonder what for?” 

“Apparently, the Scouts will be working hand in hand with the Queen for the foreseeable future,” Helga noted. She was an old, matronly woman who had been a near constant presence in Ella’s life— and was also known for somehow always finding out the latest gossip around Mitras. 

Shaking her head fondly, Elloise got to work helping her assistants. It would be interesting, she supposed, to have members of the Scout Regiment staying in the palace. She couldn’t really remember something like that happening before, but then again, there had been plenty of changes since Queen Historia’s crowning. And hadn’t the Queen herself been in the Scouts? Perhaps it was more of a friendly invitation rather than anything else. 

Regardless, it only mattered in how it would affect Ella’s workload. Nine more mouths to fill with sugar and spice wouldn’t be a difficult task, especially not compared to today’s achievement. 

Hours later, Ella stood at her quarters’ window. It was westward facing, giving her a lovely view of the sunset each evening. This was part of her routine— it was the time where she was no longer on duty, free to tug her hair down from their restrictive braids and brush long red locks out. Her father used to do this for her when she was little. Doing it now felt like a religious practice she simply couldn’t give up. 

Outside, the noises from the streets seemed louder than usual. There were various people in their uniforms, all three branches of the military mingling together in a way she assumed was rare. The gleeful shout of a child caught her attention, and she looked. A group of children were yelling and pointing at something. Ella blinked. What could they be pointing at so high up? 

And that’s when it happened. 

There was a sharp _crack_ as metal buried itself in stone. The pâtissière blinked. Had someone thrown a rock near her window? No, there was a cord, taught and thick, and—

Two feet landed horizontally on the glass in front of her.   
  
Ella dropped her brush, frozen in shock. Before her stood a member of the Scouts. They wore a shirt the color of lemon curd, and auburn hair was pulled up and away to reveal a sharp eye. The other was covered in a patch, and below that was a hooked nose. Glasses were strapped to the back of their head, and strong arms were holding onto the ornamental balustrade above her window, and—

And they were stunning. 

There were more cries and cheers, all muffled through the window, but Elloise didn’t hear them. She was awestruck, feeling as though she was in the presence of someone otherworldly. They were a champion, a roamer of worlds beyond her reach, and she was just a spectator, breath held in anticipation, wondering what feats they would accomplish next. 

The moment felt like it lasted an eternity, and yet all too quickly, there was a _whoosh_ of gas and cord.

They were gone. 

‘No,’ she corrected herself. ‘Not gone. They’re _free_.’ 

The event continued to replay in her head through the evening and into the next morning. Several more Scouts had flown past her window after the first, but none of them caught her attention like they had. At some point, she realized it must have been some sort of show of strength— a way to say here they are, the ones who did the unthinkable. 

She secretly hoped there would be an encore to the performance. 

But alas, she didn’t have time for fantasies. Especially not today, if the mood in her kitchen was anything to go by. 

All of her assistants were gathered around the request box muttering anxiously amongst themselves. Upon the first step of her shoes on the stone floor, wide eyes snapped to her. 

“I-It’s—“ Gabriele stammered, thrusting the note forward. “It’s signed directly from the Queen!” 

Elloise felt her stomach drop. From the Queen— it must be a complaint about yesterday. She messed up somehow, no doubt, and now her job was on the line, and— 

“She’s requesting special services to the Scouts!” 

Green eyes blinked. Thomas didn’t retract his statement. Finally, the pâtissière stepped forward and took the note. She read it once, twice. Then, Ella looked up, eyes alight. “Well, let’s not just stand here! We have guests to impress!” 

After that, it was all a flurry. Thomas and Gabriele were cutting up fruit, Helga was sifting flour and brown sugar, and Elloise was working on forming her pastry into the miniature pie pans that had become her signature. Since she had no idea what any of the Scouts’ tastes were, she decided that a variety of fruit pies would be a good place to start. 

“Helga, when you’re done, can you get started on the vanilla bean whip?” Ella requested. 

“Ooh yes, that’ll be excellent on top!” Gabriele said as Helga nodded. “Everyone always loves it!” 

Thomas smiled in agreement. “I’m certain they’ll enjoy anything we bring. From what I’ve heard, being in the Scouts isn’t exactly the height of luxury.” 

Ella opened her mouth to comment, but was stopped by a huff from Helga. “Oh don’t worry, they have their _own_ sort of luxury.” 

There was a pause. The three younger ones looked to their elder in confusion, and she just laughed. “You innocent minds— those _muscles_ , sillies! They’ve got loads of them!” 

In unison, the kitchen erupted with laughter. They should’ve known it was something like that. “To be honest, I know what you mean, Helga,” Gabriele giggled. “I was staring outside my window last night trying to get a peek!” 

“Mm, as you should,” Helga nodded sagely. “You should never forgo the opportunity to look at some good eye candy, right, Thomas?” 

The man in question sputtered. A color akin to strawberries flooded his cheeks, dipping down beneath his shirt collar. “I-I, ah, well, anyone in the military branches is always more…fit than most of us.” 

Elloise grinned, thankful she wasn’t in his position. No one could escape Helga’s teasing, and Helga in particular had it out for Thomas after they discovered his affection for one of the palace guards. 

“I’ll say,” Helga hummed. “The one I heard the most about was the Commander— Arwin? Ervine? Something like that. But whew, everyone around here always talked about that bag of muscles. Pretty eyes, too. The kind that makes a girl swoon with a single glance.” 

Without her consent, Ella’s mind flitted to the memory of the person in yellow perched on her window last night. Her cheeks flushed. She turned away and continued to cut the pastry dough. 

Behind her, the giggles and comments about handsome Scouts continued. Ella tuned it out as best she could. In the request from the Queen, she had been asked to personally deliver these treats. And she had a feeling that listening to any more of this talk might make her faint on the spot if she saw the breathtaking person from last night. 

An hour later, she was trying to not do just that. 

Elloise was making her way down the intricate castle corridors, pushing a servant’s cart filled with apple, blueberry, and peach miniature pies. Her hands were steady, but she was gripping the handle so tight that her knuckles were white. She had never been asked to do this before— typically, she stayed in the kitchen. That was her place. She wasn’t meant to leave it. 

But no, the Queen had requested her, so here she was. The journey to the east wing wasn’t long, but it certainly felt like it. 

In a matter of minutes, Ella stood before an ornate wooden door. Her instructions said that this was the quarters where the Scout Regiment would be staying in. She took in a steadying breath, rapped on the door thrice, then entered. 

The entrance opened up to a large rectangular parlor filled with all sorts of seating. In front of her was a series of windows, and to either side were doors leading to what she guessed where private bedrooms. It was surprisingly empty, and she half-wondered if she’d gotten the time wrong. 

But then, she noticed two figures at a table in the far corner, and her heart stopped. One of them was the person from last night. 

The two were looking at her expectantly. Elloise forced her mouth to open. “This is a thank you for your service,” she stated. “Where would be the most convenient place for me to put the cart for you?”   
  
The one with jet black hair and steely eyes stood up. He was shorter than her, but held a weight that instantly struck fear in her heart. He had an eyebrow lifted in disdain. “A thanks for _what?_ ” he grouched. “What’d we do for you? I don’t remember anything.” 

Ella swallowed harshly. She hadn’t expected that. “A-Ah, um, it’s— from the Queen. Her Majesty requested this for the Scouts. I am in Her Majesty’s service and will be in yours during your stay.” 

“Ah,” said the one from last night, and stars, their voice was warm and welcoming and oh so smooth. “I see! And who are you?” they asked politely, head tilting. 

She wanted the run out of the room before her face burst into flames. “I’m Elloise Clairmont, head pâtissière for the royal family. My family has been in their service for many generations.” 

The auburn haired Scout’s eyes lit up. “Wonderful!” they clapped. “Levi, can you take the cart to the others? God knows they’ll be excited to see it.” 

The person with black hair, Levi, did as requested. The cart was quickly taken away from her, and the moment the Scout disappeared with it behind one of the various doors, the other one smiled at her. 

“Sorry about him, it’s been…interesting being here so far,” they said. There was a twinkle of humor in their eyes. Ella tried to not blush. 

“No, it’s quite alright,” she nodded. “I will be going now. Please let me know if you or any of the other Scouts are ever in need of my services. A servant can show you the bell system, or you can place a request in a box outside the—“ 

“Oh,” they blinked. “You’re leaving so soon?” 

Ella paused. “…yes?” Didn’t they not want her there? This was simply a delivery…perhaps manners were different outside the walls. Would it be polite to stay? She knew her assistants would be fine without her for a little while, but it still felt strange. 

The Scout frowned in disappointment. “Oh, I guess you’re busy.” 

“I—“ she wanted to slap herself, what was she doing? “I can spare a few minutes,” Elloise replied slowly. “How can I be of service?” 

They waved a hand. “Nothing like that, I just wanna chat. Come,” they patted a hand on the table, “sit.” 

She did so. Their gaze never left hers, but it wasn’t…burning. Ella had felt that sort of gaze before in her life, the type nobles gave when they saw her, just another servant of the Queen running around doing their job. This was more curious. 

The moment she sat down, their mouth opened, “It’s not really important— well, I guess it is— but since the news release, I’ve been going around and asking people what their thoughts are on it, you know, if they even believe it.” 

Elloise felt her eyebrows pinch in confusion. A news release…oh! “You mean the one about the, um, the Eldians? And Marley?” 

They nodded. “Yup! What did’ja think?” 

The pâtissière let her eyes fall to the glossy tabletop, uncertain how to answer. “Well…I can’t read very well myself, but what I’ve heard, I do believe,” she started. “I can’t see any reason why the Scouts or Her Majesty would lie about it. To construct such a long and detailed lie would be…nonsensical.” 

She glanced up, and when the Scout hummed in agreement, she figured she could continue. Ella took in a sharp breath. “But, to be honest, it doesn’t really affect me.” 

They tilted their head. “How so?” 

“For one, I’ve never really felt scared of titans,” Ella confessed. “When Wall Maria was broken into five years ago, we all — those of us in Mitras, I mean— I guess we all started to feel a little worried, but…” she trailed off, not knowing how to describe it. “It’s all so far away.” 

Now it seemed that the Scout was confused. 

Elloise blushed. “I’m sorry if that sounds stupid, but I— this is all I’ve ever known. Just pastries and the palace and,” she let out a laugh that sounded more pained than happy, “I mean, I’ve never even left the walls of Mitras, let alone Sina. All I know beyond these walls is what I hear— stories of casualties and death tolls, but I’ve never _seen_ a titan or the war. It all seems so far off and illusive. And even if I am an… _Eldian,_ ” she paused, the word feeling strange on her tongue, “that doesn’t change how I will continue to live my life.” 

A stinging silence followed. 

The Scout before her seemed shocked, and Elloise immediately regretted every word. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? Or at least it was the truth for her. Others’ lives may have been changed drastically because of this news, but hers…it was here. She knew it wouldn’t change, come hell or high water. Her place was in the palace, and that was that. 

Slowly, a bittersweet smile came onto the Scout’s face. “I see. You have a blessing— the innocence of ignorance.” 

Ella felt her heart drop. But they continued. 

“I’m glad the work we do can let some people live relatively peaceful lives,” they said, the smile turning into something warmer, more hopeful, and Elloise held in a sigh of relief. 

She contemplated their words for a moment. Peaceful was an interesting word for it. Peaceful, boring— trapped. No freedom, stuck inside the walls, wondering what the sky would look like without stone cutting into it on all sides. 

The sound of a throat clearing jolted her from her thoughts. Ella returned her attention to the Scout with wide green eyes. 

“Well, as Commander of the Scouts, I appreciate your honesty,” they said, and _oh_. Now everything made sense. Every word Helga had said this morning— the striking eyes, the muscles. This was the person she’d spoken of. 

“I-It’s—“ Ella stammered, “It’s no trouble at all! I, ah…” gods, she could feel her face heating up, “My apologies for not being more respectful. I had heard of you, um, people talk a lot about the Commander of the Scouts, but I didn’t know you were—“ 

They laughed, waving a hand. “Don’t worry about that, we’re not formal,” they teased. “Although I am curious…” The Commander leaned forward to rest their chin on their hands. “What _do_ people say about me?”   
  
The pâtissière’s face grew hotter. “Oh, um, well, it’s only what I’ve heard around the palace, but they always said the Commander, ah— Arwin, right?— was a very capable leader, an example to all soldiers, and…” she trailed off. They raised an eyebrow. She wished the floor would swallow her up. “A-And, um, that the Commander of the Scouts was very handsome.” 

At some point, her gaze had fallen downward. After a couple moments had ticked by in silence, she dared to look upward. “It would seem the rumors were correct,” she added in a small voice. 

The Commander blinked. “You…I believe you mean Commander Erwin. I am his successor, Hange Zoë.” 

All at once, Elloise wished for her life to end. She had— she couldn’t believe she’d said…oh, no, oh stars, oh god—

“I am so sorry!” she cried, hands covering her mouth. “I-I truly didn’t know, I didn’t mean to—“ 

Hange (what a fascinating name) laughed. “Don’t worry, no offense taken. Being compared to Erwin is always a compliment— he was a great man.” They said it so casually, but it was hard to miss the pink tinge on their cheeks. 

Ella was mortified. She had most certainly made the Commander uncomfortable. “Still, I shouldn’t have— w-when did you take over? Was it recent?” 

“Ah,” they said, eyes turned downward. “Yes, yes it was. Erwin passed in our last battle.”

Guilt flooded the pâtissière’s body. Not only had she mistaken their identity, but she’d done so for a man that they clearly cherished and were still in mourning over. She had never felt so awful in her life, and yet she was frozen, having no idea how to rectify the situation. 

“I…” Ella swallowed. “I am so sorry for your loss. And I apologize, again, for not being as…sensitive as I should have with this. I’m afraid I’m only told as much as I need to know around here.” It felt like a flimsy excuse, but it was true. She hadn’t even gotten the former Commander’s name right.   
  
A bittersweet smile came onto Hange’s lips. “Sounds like some of the orders I’ve gotten before,” they said. There was something in their tone that told Ella she’d been forgiven of her indiscretion, a warmth and grace she was certain she didn’t deserve.   
  
A moment passed, and Hange cleared their throat. “Erwin had already served for too long, anyway. I’m glad he can now be at peace.” 

Ella nodded. “I’m sure he could rest easy knowing he left the Scouts in capable hands.” That’s what she told herself her dad thought on his deathbed, at least. 

Hange’s eyes changed, a faraway look entering them. “Yes, I hope so,” they murmured. “Anyways—“ they said abruptly, rising from their chair. Ella followed suit. “Thank you again for you time, I hope it wasn’t a bother—“ 

“Oh no, not at all!” Elloise interrupted. 

“Yes, but still, I appreciate—“ 

“It’s not a problem, really, I—“ 

The two paused. Ella inwardly cursed herself. The past five minutes had to have been the most awkward of her entire life. 

Hange let out a chuckle. “Ah, right, well, I’ll see you out, now.” 

The pâtissière nodded. “Right.” Thank god— maybe once she was out she’d be able to breathe again. Next time she was requested to bring something to the Scouts, she would send one of her assistants instead. This had been a social nightmare from start to finish.

The Commander had just put their hand on the door when there was a bang, and the pair whirled around. 

“Is that her?!” a teenage girl shouted. 

There was the sound of a groan— it was Levi from earlier. “Yes, but don’t scare her, you brats—“ 

And then all at once, a flood of young soldiers was pouring out of one of the side rooms and surrounding her. The first one to speak (a girl with wide eyes and hair about the same color as Hange) held a mini pie in her hands. 

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever tasted!” she claimed. “What’s in it?!” 

“Um,” Elloise paused, taking a look at where a bite had been taken out of it. “That’s a peach one. The others are apple and blueberry.” 

A Scout with a shaved head spoke up, “You didn’t have peaches where you grew up, Sasha?” 

“Nope!” Sasha replied before she continued to devour it. 

A different teenager with short black hair and a red scarf spoke up. “I preferred the apple one,” she murmured. She stood close to two others, two boys (one blond, one brunet) that both had a distant look in their eyes. Elloise tried to not frown openly at that. They were all…what, about twelve years younger than her? They shouldn’t look so hollow and lifeless. 

“What was the white stuff on top?” the final one asked. “It had those black things in it, and I thought it was pepper, but then it was sweet.” 

“It’s called vanilla bean, Jean,” Levi stated from where he stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “They have all kinds of good shit like that in the capitol.” 

Sasha’s eyes shimmered. “Oh! Well then you’re welcome back anytime, chef!” 

Ella couldn’t help but laugh as she nodded. They were an interesting group, that was for sure. Hange shooed the squad away and wished her a pleasant day, their eyes sparkling with amusement. 

And thus, it began.

* * *

For the most part, Ella’s next day was business as usual. There were scones for a nobles meeting, pies for visiting MPs, and now, whatever treats she saw fit to give the Scouts.   
  
Helga had, of course, been rather curious about the palace’s newest guests. Elloise was fairly certain she was able to answer all of the older woman’s questions without blushing. 

“—but what about that Commander of theirs?” she asked. “Is he as handsome as they say?“ 

Oh, if only she’d been able to maintain her clean record. Thankfully, the pâtissière was facing away, so the pink that flooded her cheeks couldn’t be seen. “The Commander is no longer Erwin, the one you were referring to. It’s now Hange, and they were very…nice.” 

Gabrielle gave a look. “Nice? That’s it?” Even Thomas seemed suspicious at such a bland description. 

Ella searched for the right words. “W-Well, ah—“ 

“No, I call dibs!!” 

“But I wanted to see—“ 

“You guys, she’s probably busy—“ 

“She said we could!” 

More shouts came from the hallway outside her kitchen, the voices growing ever closer. They sounded familiar, but Ella couldn’t differentiate them well enough yet. 

Her culinary assistants were blinking at her for an answer, but Elloise herself didn’t know how to react when a group of teenagers pushed their way into her kitchen, arguing and stumbling over one another. 

The one with blond hair (Armin, she recalled), looked upset. “Guys, she’s the palace pâtissière! We shouldn’t bother her—“ 

“You’re not a bother,” Ella piped up, and all eyes turned to look at her. She put on a pleasant smile. “What are you doing here, though? Do you need something?”

Conny, who had a shaved head and bright eyes, shook a negative. “We’ve been touring the palace and wanted to see the kitchen! Christa— I mean,” he laughed, “Her _Majesty_ said we should get familiar with the place.” 

The young woman took in the sight of the group. Sasha and Conny were at the front, and the redhead was looking around eagerly, mouth watering. Jean was crammed in the doorway next to Armin, and peaking over their shoulders were Eren and Mikasa, both looking curious, but hesitant. 

“I’ve never seen a kitchen like this,” Sasha finally burst. “Growing up, it was just me an’ my pops, and we were out in the woods, so it’s like—“ 

“Sasha, to be fair, I don’t think any of us grew up with a kitchen like this in our homes,” Jean pointed out. 

Armin’s head tilted. “True— we definitely didn’t,” and he pointed back at Mikasa and Eren in reference. 

Ella could only smile more. “Yes, I imagine most don’t. I know I wouldn’t if I wasn’t a palace servant— we’re very lucky to be here, and Her Majesty has especially been kind to us.” 

Something about her comment made everyone grin. Perhaps it had to do with mentioning the Queen— it did seem that the Scouts were on good terms with her. 

From the back of the group came the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. Ella’s green eyes landed on Mikasa, who looked a bit shy. “Do you have any more of those apple pies? They were really good.” 

The pâtissière nodded. “I do, actually! Here, let me—“ 

“There you guys are!!” 

Ella paused, her heart skipping a beat. That voice…

Commander Hange appeared behind the crowd of teenagers, looking only a tad flustered. “You guys can’t run off like that, I specifically told you to not bother anyone who was working, and here you go, running straight to Elloise—“ 

“But she said it’s okay!” Conny cried out. 

The Commander of the Scouts just shook their head. “Do you want to be responsible if she gets in trouble for getting behind on her work?” 

There was a resounding chorus of “no, sir,” and with that, the teenage soldiers were properly chastised. They shuffled out of the crammed kitchen entry slowly, chattering amongst themselves about when they would come back. 

Ella had up to this point managed to avoid the Commander’s gaze directly— it seemed she no longer had that luxury. When the last Scout was out, Commander Hange sighed, then gave Ella a tired smile. 

“Sorry about that,” they chuckled. “They can get pretty rowdy. Kids, right?” 

The pâtissière swallowed hard, nodding. She couldn’t quite think of a response, not with those eyes on her, not with the memories of her screw-up yesterday so fresh in her mind. “I…I really didn’t mind,” she finally managed. Green eyes glanced downward. “I bet sometimes they _want_ to be kids instead of soldiers.” 

When she peeked up, she was met with a warm smile. “I agree.” 

There was a moment of silence, one that felt very loud due to the way her assistants were looking back and forth between her and the Commander. 

To break it, Ella cleared her throat. “Well, I was just about to offer them something anyways, but it sounds like they’ll be running around for a bit longer. Shall I bring it to the east wing?” 

Brown eyes lit up. “That would be perfect! They couldn’t stop talking about you last night, and— ah, wait, they’re gone again,” Commander Hange realized, slapping a hand to their forehead. “I’d better go.” They inclined their head slightly. “Thank you once again for your graciousness and hospitality, Elloise. I expect I’ll see you soon?” 

Ah, there it was— that blush she’d been fighting back so fiercely. It rushed over her face so quickly that she didn’t have a moment to stop it. “Y-Yes, I— you will, yes, I’ll be bringing dessert for dinner tonight,” she stammered. “And other nights, of course, so…yes. I’ll be around.” 

The Commander grinned. “Perfect.” And with that, they turned on their heel and left. 

It was quiet for about five seconds. Then, Helga turned, a twinkle in her eyes. “Just nice, huh?” 

Ella blushed even more deeply. “Oh, hush.” 

* * *

Elloise panted only slightly as she set the tray filled with sandwiches down onto a nearby table— the carts didn’t travel so easily down the stairs to the training courtyard, and the tray wasn’t exactly light. 

After she was satisfied that their meal looked presentable, the pâtissière shifted her attention to the sight before her. The younger Scouts were surrounding a contraption not unlike a swing. Sasha was currently in it, pumping her legs and twisting in all sorts of odd shapes. 

Elloise made her way to where Commander Hange and Captain Levi were standing off to the side. Levi’s arms were crossed, and whereas he looked unamused, Hange was grinning openly at the display. 

“Some sort of training?” Ella guessed. 

“Nah,” Levi snorted. “They’re just fucking around. Oi! Lunch is here!” 

The word “lunch” seemed to be a signal, and all at once, the teenagers were spinning around. “ELLA!” they shouted together. The pâtissière couldn’t help but giggle as they ran over to her, babbling about this and that as they grabbed their portions. 

“—which is why,” Sasha was saying as she chewed. “We were wondering what other positions we could do in the ODM gear—“ 

Conny nodded, “So we had a contest to see who could do the craziest pose and keep their balance for ten seconds.” 

“Mikasa holds the record so far, of course,” Jean said. His tone held more admiration than jealousy. 

Armin nodded. “We all knew that would happen. Captain Levi still refuses to—“ 

“Not happening.” 

“Exactly,” Eren rolled his eyes. Then, they suddenly lit up. “Hold on— Ella, you should try it!” 

The younger Scouts must be part of a collective mind, because suddenly all of them had the same look. “I think she should do it,” Conny snickered. “Can’t get any worse than Eren’s first try—“ 

“His equipment was rigged,” Mikasa reminded him. 

“Still, it’s not so bad!” Sasha chipped in. “All you have to do is get attached to the straps and balance, so I bet she could do it!” 

Baby blue eyes turned to her. “What do you say, Ella?” Armin asked giddily. “We promise to stand by to make sure you don’t fall!” 

Levi stepped forward. “Oi, brats, don’t pressure her into—“ 

“I’d love to try.” 

The clamoring went quiet, and even the Commander paused to give Elloise a surprised look. 

Ella grinned shyly. “However…” she trailed off, and she referred to her servant’s dress. “I don’t think I’m in the right attire, so maybe another time.” 

Her reasoning drew a mixture of understanding and disappointment from the crowd of teenagers. But, Ella was telling the truth— she _would_ love to try. She saw how they flew, how free they were. She wanted a taste of it, even if it was only a few feet off the ground. 

“Elloise?” 

The pâtissière turned. “Yes?” 

Commander Hange was staring at her thoughtfully. “If I recall correctly, you’ve never even see a titan before, yes?” 

When she nodded, there was a range of reactions. Most were shock…but then there were Eren and Armin. The two were now staring down at the ground, fidgeting uncomfortably. 

“Do you want to?” 

“Mikasa!” Jean hissed. 

“What, we have two right here,” she continued, shrugging. “And they haven’t practiced in a while. The courtyard’s as good a place as any in the walls.” 

Ella blinked. Oh yes, she’d forgotten about that. At some point, Hange had told her that Eren and Armin were “titan shifters.” She felt silly for letting such an important fact slip her memory.

The pâtissière cleared her throat. “It’s fine, really, there’s no need to—“ 

“No, we,” Eren interrupted. He looked to Armin, who was still not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I mean, I’ll do it.” 

All at once, Elloise was being ushered back. Levi shouted something, a string of random words that must be a signal to everyone around. Most soldiers and servants decided to vacate the area entirely, and soon enough, it was just the Scouts off to one side and Eren standing alone in the center. 

Ella watched as he took in a steadying breath. Subconsciously, she took a step forward. 

A broad shoulder quickly blocked her view. “Better stay behind me, Elloise,” Commander Hange said, smiling. “If you’re not used to it, the backlash of his transformation can be pretty intense.” 

The pâtissière blinked, then nodded. After all, who was she to say otherwise? She still didn’t understand what a titan shifter really was. How were they any different from the mindless creatures she’d heard tales about?

There were a few tense seconds of quiet. 

And then the sky lit up with gold. 

Elloise squeezed her eyes shut, scrunching in on herself to hide better behind the Commander. Wind was whipping around her, something foreign and yet familiar flickering through the air, and—

The ground shook with a single footstep. 

The woman found herself holding onto the back of Hange’s coat just to stay upright. There were a few more steps, slow and controlled, but no less powerful. Then finally, there was a larger thump, and she dared to open her eyes. 

She could hardly believe that this was the boy she’d given macarons to the previous evening. 

The beast was sitting on the ground, legs crossed like a child. He peered down at her— thoughtful, curious. Almost like he was awaiting her reaction. He growled softly, _what did she think?_

Ella didn’t remember running forward. 

A massive hand met her when she reached him, and she marveled at how his finger alone was as long as she was tall. Eren leaned down even further. For half a second, Ella felt a flicker of fear. Who wouldn’t, what with those massive teeth? 

But then she stared up into sea-green eyes. She hadn’t known them long, but she knew them well enough. They were hurt, but kind. Loyal— fiercely so. Determined, trustworthy. 

Ella’s hand wandered toward a strand of his hair without her knowledge. 

“Hello, Eren,” she whispered, tugging gently. He made a pleased noise. Elloise grinned. “Can you understand me?” The titan swayed his head back and forth, making her giggle. “I see. Easy questions, then? What did you think about last night’s dessert? Did you like it?” 

Mindlessly, her hands began sectioning the brown locks in her grasp. Ella asked question after question, interpreting his groans and huffs as best she could. All the while, her hands braided his hair, combed it back out, then braided it again. 

She missed the look of shock the Scouts all had, but she particularly missed how a certain Commander’s eyes held sparkles. 

* * *

Elloise knocked thrice. “I’m coming in,” she greeted, then pushed the door open with her hip. In her hand was a tray with the remnants of the dessert she’d brought the Scouts this evening— Captain Levi had helped to make sure the teenagers didn’t steal all of them, ensuring that Commander Hange would have a taste. The chocolate chip cookies had been a big hit tonight. 

The library was lit with a combination of candles and the last remaining rays of the sunset pouring in through massive windows. Ella found the Commander over by the fireplace, settled in an overstuffed armchair with a book. 

They looked up when the door shut behind her, smiling softly. “Elloise, good evening. What are you doing here?” 

“Bringing you your share,” she replied primly. She ignored that odd flutter in her chest at hearing her full name. Practically everyone called her Ella, but it seemed the Commander of the Scouts had decided otherwise. She’d only realized this distinction yesterday and still wasn’t quite sure what to think of it.

The pâtissière set down the tray, chocolate chip cookies accompanied by a glass of milk and a pot full of the tea Captain Levi suggested for Hange. “We fended off the kids as best we could.” 

Hange chuckled, “They never stop talking about you— _when’s she coming next, what do you think it’ll be, can she make the spice cakes again?_ ” 

She couldn’t help her pleased smile. It had only been a few weeks since the Scouts had taken up residence in the east wing, but she already felt each one of them worming their way into her heart. It made her happy to know they might feel the same way. 

A comfortable silence settled. Ella had quickly discovered that Hange didn’t like being served and then immediately left alone— they preferred for her to stay, if only long enough for them to taste the day’s treat and compliment her on it. 

Ella let her eyes wander around the library, taking it in. Her gaze eventually drifted to the book in Hange’s lap, and she tilted her head. “What are you reading?” 

They blinked up at her. “Oh— it’s a recently published scientific journal. Nothing you’d find too interesting, I bet.” 

The pâtissière gave a grin. “Well, I didn’t ask if I would find it interesting. _You’re_ the one reading it, right? So what has you interested in it?” 

There was a shift in the Commander’s eyes. They lit up, sparkling and excited. “Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the capitol,” they began to explain. “And out in the field, it’s near impossible to get the latest journals, so I’m catching up on the research I’ve missed out on!” 

“I didn’t know you had an interest in science,” Ella commented, sitting down in a chair across the Commander. She could tell they were about to talk for a while. 

Hange laughed. “Science was my first love, actually. Before all…this,” they said, referring to the ornament around their neck that signaled their rank, “I was just a scientist.” 

“Just?” Ella repeated. “I don’t think that’s _just_ anything. I don’t even know how bread works, and that’s my job.” 

They tilted their head. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, I simply follow the recipes,” she replied. “I don’t know why a loaf of bread rises, but my pie crusts don’t. I know there’s a difference in the ingredients, so that must be it, but I still don’t fully know _why_. It wasn’t a part of my education.” 

Hange’s nose scrunched up (it was sort of cute, but that’s not the point). “I can’t believe no one ever thought to explain that to you.” 

Ella shrugged. “I doubt even my father knew, and he was the one who handed everything over to me.” 

A look of understanding filled the light brown eyes across from her. The two had a conversation not long after they met about her father’s passing— the similarities of them both having large shoes to fill had made the words flow out so easily. 

“Well,” they said, shifting forward in their seat. “Would you like to know? It’s pretty simple.” 

The pâtissière quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not sure our definitions of ‘pretty simple’ are the same.” 

A snort. “True. Are you a hands-on learner? Maybe we could bake together,” Hange offered, but their expression quickly soured. “Although I’m sure it’ll be hard to find time, given our schedules.” 

Something deep in Elloise’s chest warmed. As soon as the words had left the Commander’s mouth, she’d come to the same realization— they had meetings about war and survival, she had her service to the Queen keeping her constantly busy. But just to offer her time over such a trivial thing…

“I appreciate it,” Ella replied, and she did her best to not let her smile be too bright. “I’m certain we can find some sliver of time for it.” 

Hange returned the smile. Elloise wondered what she could do to see it more often.

* * *

When Ella woke up that morning, she was shivering, and that was saying something considering how many blankets she had piled on her bed. Typically she tried to not wear too many layers in the kitchen— more layers meant a higher chance of something getting snagged on a knife, or worse, something catching on fire. 

But today, she didn’t have a choice. And if Helga laughed at how bundled up she was, she didn’t care. Elloise had always run cold, and with the snow falling outside, she figured she could look as ridiculous as she wanted and no one could say anything. 

While preparing for the rest of the palace to wake up, Elloise stayed as close to the oven as possible. She reviewed the day’s requests and found that many of them didn’t require her to work immediately. Thus, she pulled out the largest pot she had and began making a new delight for her beloved Scouts. 

Yes— _her_ Scouts. Something about being around those kids had created a motherly side she didn’t know she had, plus, Captain Levi had become oddly good company, what with his dry sense of humor. 

Hange was…another story altogether. 

Ella didn’t dwell on it. She’d already done that plenty. Instead, she collected her ingredients and set to work. The best thing about her hot cocoa was how quick it was to make— in no time, she had a steaming vat of the sweet, fragrant goodness. 

She ladled the cocoa out with care, ensuring each mug had room at the top for her vanilla bean whip. Then, they were on the cart and off to the east wing with her in tow. 

When she arrived, she didn’t even need to knock on the door. Captain Levi was there, apparently coming back from somewhere, as evident by the snow on his boots. After a nod, he opened the massive wood door for her. 

She walked past. “What— what _is_ that?” the Captain asked with a sniff. 

Elloise quirked up an eyebrow. “Hot cocoa. You’ve never had it?” At the negative shake of his head, she added, “It’s— well, you could think of it like the chocolate version of tea, but thicker.” 

Levi frowned, evidently still confused. The pâtissière laughed and answered his curiosity by handing him a cup. His eyes lit up in recognition at the whip on top. Most of it had already melted into the heat of the cocoa, but that only served to make the treat even more creamy. 

She watched as he carefully took a sip, then hummed. “A little sweet for my tastes, but not bad,” he decided. Levi then turned his head, calling out, “Hey brats, Ella’s here!”   
  
There was the rumbling of footsteps, and then all at once, bedroom doors from each side of the room were flying open. Armin (her favorite— don’t tell anyone) spoke first, his blue eyes bright. “Ella! You’re never this early! What brought you?” 

The blond dashed toward her, his childhood friends following close behind. While many of the Scouts luxuriated in the opportunity to have a palace bedroom all to themselves, she’d quickly discovered that Armin, Mikasa, and Eren all bunked together by choice. It was a fact that made Ella both happy and sad— happy that they all had each other, sad that they had to rely on each other so much for comfort. 

In her first weeks with the Scouts, she’d paid close attention to the group. Mikasa seemed rather naturally reserved, although she also was very attached to Eren, and where Eren went, so typically did Armin. The two boys themselves had seemed…detached at first. Hange vaguely told her that their last battle and their findings had put a strain the two. It has been Ella’s delight to watch them slowly come back around to what she guessed was their normal, eyes brightening and smiles popping out more frequently. 

Her heart warmed now to see the trio, all looking well-rested and happy. They were beaten to the cart only by Sasha, who all too quickly had grabbed a cup and downed half of it. 

“Ugh, you’re spoiling uuuussss,” Sasha pouted when she stopped to swallow, whip on her upper lip. “I’m not gonna want to leave Mitras if you keep doing things like this!” 

Ella chuckled. “Well, enjoy it while you can.” Green eyes glanced out the window, and she nodded at the falling snow. “And go outside and play— there are always kids in the streets looking to start a snowball fight.” 

Almost predictably, Jean scrunched up his nose. “We’re not kids, Ella.” 

Levi and her shared a wry look. “Sure,” she teased. The young soldiers soon made their way to the couches, with Mikasa, Eren, and Armin on one without an inch between them, and Sasha, Conny, and Jean on the other. They chatted excitedly about the day between sips of hot cocoa, and she noticed how their eyes sparkled when they drifted toward the windows. Ella wondered if they’d ever experienced snow in a way where it wasn’t a matter of survival, but enjoyment. 

After a couple minutes of observing the kids, Ella shifted her gaze to Levi. “Where’s Hange? Are they not around this morning?” 

He rolled his eyes. “They went down to check on the horses as soon as they saw the snow. Worried the palace servants wouldn’t take care of them right.” 

Elloise hummed. Hot cocoa wouldn’t be any good cold, and that’s probably what it would be by the time Hange got back. Thus, Ella made her exit amidst shouts of thanks from the Scouts. She stopped by her room just long enough to grab her cloak— a deep red velvet wrap with white fur lining. It had been her mother’s, and Ella couldn’t resist wearing the old thing each time it snowed. Her mother had loved the snow. It was like having her again, being five and toddling through the fluffy piles of cold wetness before that very same cold had taken her mother away. 

The pâtissière pulled the hood up and brushed flyaways out of her eyes. She dropped the cart off at the kitchen, settling instead for a tray with two fresh hot cocoas and gifting the other to Gabriele. The trek to the exit was shorter than she’d liked, and when she got to the door, she had to fight the urge to stay within the palace’s warmth. 

But alas, she had a Commander to see. 

(Not that she was looking forward to seeing them in particular.)

Ella carefully avoided the other servants bustling around, keeping her grip on the tray tight. It wasn’t a long haul at all— just a short walk across the courtyard to the stables, marked by an open wood door that glowed with warm lights from within. 

As soon as she entered, she could hear Hange murmuring, “Atta girl, Ava. You want another one?” At the horse’s huff, Hange lifted a carrot for her to munch on. The Commander took their time stroking the horse’s nose before turning around. “Elloise? What are you— ooh, what’s that?” they asked, eyebrows scrunched. 

Ella chuckled. “Levi said the same thing. It’s hot cocoa—“ 

“Oh, no, I wasn’t—“ Hange cleared their throat. “I am curious about what hot cocoa is, but I thought the mugs were tea. I was actually referring to this.” And then the Commander was stepping closer, slender fingers reaching out. 

Elloise had never been one for fear. She wouldn’t call herself brave, but she simply couldn’t remember being so struck with terror that she’d completely frozen up. But that wasn’t what this was, right? No, there had to be another reason she was stock still, eyes wide and breath held as Hange ever so delicately smoothed their fingers over the fabric on her shoulder. The touch was light, but not enough that she couldn’t feel the weight of it through the cloak. 

“O-Oh,” Ella finally managed. “It’s, ah— my mother’s. I get cold easily, and—“ Her heart skipped a beat. Hange’s fingers had trailed upward, petting at the fur outline around her face. They had stepped closer, and by the look of it, they hadn’t realized. Ella swallowed. If she wasn’t holding the tray between them, how close would they be? What if she set it down? No, that would break whatever spell had been cast upon them. 

“It’s lovely,” Hange said softly. “I recall my aunt having something similar. Must’ve been in fashion back then.” 

Elloise shuddered. It wasn’t from the cold. “Yes, I think it was.” 

There was a moment of silence. Well, no, it wasn’t actually silent— the horses were huffing and pawing their hooves against the swishing hay, people were walking and shouting outside, and even the wind whistled loud enough to be heard. But it felt quiet in this little bubble of theirs, and that’s when Ella realized it—

Hange wasn’t wearing their eye patch. 

It was hard to believe she hadn’t realized it immediately, but…Ella rarely noticed its presence in the first place. The Commander was just so expressive that they didn’t need two windows to see into their soul— one was enough. But suddenly there they were, two sets of eyes, glowing bright brown in the golden lights of the stable. One had a slash over it, and it was foggy, unseeing. 

Ella had the urge to kiss it better. 

Something must have shifted in her own eyes, because all too quickly, the moment was broken. Hange froze, then whipped their hand back to their side. Pink flooded their cheeks. Elloise knew it wasn’t from the cold. 

“Sorry, I, um—“ the Commander sputtered. “What did you say you brought again?” 

The pâtissière hid her smile. She hadn’t seen such a flustered expression on their face before. “Hot cocoa. The kids already tried it, although Levi said it was too sweet.” She held up the tray, letting Hange pick their mug. “I think you’ll like it, though.” 

* * *

With time, Elloise comes to learn each of the Scouts’ favorite dessert flavors. 

Captain Levi had been a little difficult to figure out. He would gladly try anything she brought, but usually only a couple nibbles. When she finally asked him why, he admitted that it was just too sugary for him— he wasn’t used to it. But then one day she’d brought in some mint truffles she’d been testing out, and the Captain had eaten at least five of them in one go. 

After that, she realized what his was: peppermint. Whether it was the truffles, bark, or even ice cream, Levi would gobble it up. He said that it reminded him of a tea he’d had the opportunity to try only once. Ella began including minty things on her usual cart journeys just for him. 

The younger Scouts were quite a bit easier to figure out because, well, they either told her to her face or their reaction was more than enough to understand. The first time Armin had her strawberry shortcake, he’d looked so happy she thought he would cry. Sasha, on the other hand, devoured anything that was chocolate. She had a particular favoritism for chocolate chip cookies— they disappeared the quickest (or perhaps that was because they’re small enough to steal away in a cloth napkin). 

The day Ella brought still warm snicker-doodles was the day she saw Eren’s true smile. He’d eaten more than she could count, and when he asked what the new flavor had been, she’d secretly gifted him with a little shaker of cinnamon sugar to add to whatever he liked. Mikasa was also partial to cinnamon flavors, but Ella quickly realized this was only because cinnamon was so often paired with apples. It was rare that the reserved young woman smiled, but every time Ella brought an apple crostata, Mikasa’s lips twitched upward in secretive delight. 

Conny had no reservations in telling her he loved blueberries, and, well, she already knew that. Any time she brought blueberry muffins in for breakfast, it could be guaranteed that he would eat the majority of them. As for Jean, he was rather easy to please. After several weeks of skirting around her, he finally came up to her and awkwardly told her that he really loved the vanilla bean whip. She had only just started to notice how excitedly he would scarf up anything that had it on top. Now, Ella kept a bowl of it on ice just so she could put a dollop of it onto any dessert for him. 

As for Hange, they loved everything she served, but especially her lemon cakes. They were small, soft, filled with tangy lemon curd, and always topped with a drizzle of vanilla frosting. On any given night, Hange could be found eating forkful after forkful while reading until their utensil eventually hit an empty plate. 

Similarly, the Queen liked everything Elloise had to offer. However, she was never shy in requesting blackberry pie at least once a week with her evening meal. 

(Elloise was partial to caramel, but it wasn’t her job to create whatever _she_ wanted.)

This was the sort of information Elloise collected. It was nothing like the sort of information about to be discussed.

The pâtissière was stationed next to Armin, hands crossed primly in her lap. She hardly felt comfortable. But when she’d gone to leave after delivering desserts for the group to snack on, the blond had come up to her, bluebell eyes shy as he asked if she could stay. 

“I’m having…a rough day,” he had grimaced. Eren had been over his shoulder, frowning in concern. “I know it’s not what you’re here for, but if you could just sit with me…I think it might help.” 

Her eyes had softened. “Of course, sweetie.” 

So here she was, sitting in on a meeting discussing resettlement budgeting and funding and feeling incredibly out of place, but one of her Scouts needed her. She wasn’t going to abandon them, especially not when they asked her to stay. 

There were eyes on her— she could feel them. There was a set of eyes in particular that never left. They belonged to a man in a Military Police jacket, one that looked haggard and tired with his exhausted expression and limp black hair. 

Out of curiosity, Ella finally caved. She met his gaze, offering a polite smile and a tilted head. 

And that’s when his eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry,” he said, effectively interrupting something Captain Levi had been saying. “Who is this? And why are they here?” 

Another voice, older yet still holding the same suspicious tone, piped up, “Yes, I’ve been wondering that too.” They shifted in a way that showed off their Military Police emblem. Ella thought back to how Levi had always made rude remarks about that branch— she could now see why. 

Her heart thundering in her ears, Ella cleared her throat. “I am Elloise Clairmont. I’m a servant of the Queen, and I—“ 

“A servant,” a different MP scoffed. “This is classified information, girly. It’s not for your ears.” 

Shame swept through her. It was an unfamiliar feeling. Having lived in the shadows of the palace, she’d never had the opportunity to be called out so publicly. She’d never known what mortification felt like, how much it could make your cheeks burn and your eyes sting. 

So she stood. 

“I’m sorry for intruding,” Ella replied, head dipped low and throat closing in on itself. “If my services are not required, then I will be leaving—“ 

A hand slammed down on the table. “Absolutely not.” 

Ella’s green eyes— along with everyone else’s— flickered over to see Hange, Commander of the Scouts, looking like they were ready to stab a man (or two, in particular). Their jaw was clenched, shoulders were drawn tight, and the one visible eye they had was smoldering with anger. 

“Elloise is a trusted servant of the Queen. She has been assigned _specifically_ to the Scouts to assist in whatever way is requested of her. I asked her to attend this meeting. She has heard more than _you_ —“ their eyes flashed in the direction of the first man, “—ever will, Nile, and she has not spoken a word of it to anyone. Elloise is to be treated with the same dignity and respect I am. Do I make myself clear?” 

It’s bullshit, she knows. But Ella can’t breathe, can’t _think_ as she watches every MP in the room swallow nervously. Hange’s fury dissipates slowly. Ella only knows it’s gone when the Commander glances at her, offering a soft smile. They nod to indicate she should sit back down. She does. 

No one questions her presence with the Scouts ever again.   


* * *

When working in a place where one mistake could get you fired and forever banished, you tend to hold a lot of anxiety. That anxiety had lessened with the crowning of the new Queen, thankfully, but it was never fully gone. Elloise didn’t let it stop her though— instead, she let it push her toward perfection, making sure she never gave anyone a reason to want her out of Mitras. 

Tonight, though, she felt a different sort of anxiety. 

She’d known it was coming for a couple months now due to her sitting in on more and more meetings. However, for it to finally be here, to know the ones who’d nestled themselves into such a sweet and tender spot in her heart were going to be leaving…it hurt. 

It wouldn’t be too dangerous (or at least, that’s what she told herself). According to Levi, any titans they may meet along their way back to Wall Maria should be easy to take care of due to the lingering cold. 

Ella’s heart still shredded itself to pieces at the thought. 

She’d gotten used to the comfort of the Scouts in the east wing, of seeing the teenagers being able to relax for once, of seeing them without their gear on constantly. In the past week, they’d been wearing it again. Her throat tightened every time she saw one of those kids fiddle with their swords, too familiar and too young and too everything. If it was in her power, she would keep them here, bundle them up, and never let them leave. 

But she knew she couldn’t. Their first trip back to Wall Maria was vital— they needed to check out the cities, see if it was even worth resettlement. There were people counting on them, thousands who had been kicked out of their homes and made into refugees. Ella’s desire to protect her Scouts could never outweigh the needs of others. 

And so, about four months after she’d first met the Scouts, Ella found herself in the kitchen. It was late in the evening, the moon casting a bright silvery shadow onto the counters through the window, and the Scouts were leaving first thing in the morning. She hadn’t been able to sleep, so here she was cleaning every nook and cranny. Something about it soothed her, but not enough. 

Ella sighed. She knew she’d need to find a way to stay calm while they were gone, something to keep her thoughts busy when she wasn’t working. She thought of the book Hange had given her a few weeks back, the one explaining the chemistry of baking. Perhaps that would keep her mind occupied. 

There had been footsteps approaching for a while now, but Elloise didn’t hear them until they were directly in front of her. She looked up to see Sasha and Conny smiling, their hands clasped awkwardly. 

Immediately, Ella tsked, “You two should be in bed.” 

Sasha tilted her head. “We know, but we wanted to come say goodbye!” 

“Yeah, we’re gonna miss you, Ella,” Conny added, and Ella couldn’t really see what his expression was because her vision turned blurry. 

“Oh, you two,” the pâtissière sniffed. She opened her arms. The two teens flung themselves at her, holding on tight. 

After a moment, Sasha whispered, “Thank you for everything.” There was a crack in her voice. “And not just the desserts.” Conny hummed in agreement. 

Ella squeezed just a bit harder. When she finally stepped back, all three of them had tears in their eyes. The pâtissière grabbed a couple napkins for the young soldiers. “I’ll be there to see you off in the morning, okay?” she promised. 

Though they still looked sad, Sasha and Conny nodded. Elloise’s heart warmed. It was nice to know that they’d miss her as much as she’d miss them. 

“We, um,” Conny started, wiping at his eyes, “We also came to get some of that sleep tea you have for the Commander. They’re still awake, and Captain Levi was threatening to knock them out.” 

Sasha’s brown eyes flitted down. “We’re all worried about them.” 

A different feeling fluttered through Ella’s chest— something light and giddy, something she didn’t want to admit, yet. “I’ll take care of it, then,” she nodded. “Where are they?” 

The library again, as it turned out. Elloise had been quick to shoo the kids off to bed so she could prepare the tea for Hange. It was only a matter of minutes before she was in the doorway of the library. Her heart twisted. 

Hange was at a large table, maps and documents spread out to the point that some were in danger of slipping off. They were muttering to themself and making marks with a pencil, lingering flames from the fireplace lighting their view. They didn’t even notice Elloise until she set the tea tray right under her nose. 

The Commander blinked, then looked up. “Elloise?” 

The pâtissière smiled softly. “Hange,” she replied. “Your soldiers are worried about you. They sent me with this.” 

Their gaze flicked back down to the tea. “I-I…I’m sorry, usually I would enjoy your company, but right now I need to—“ Ella put her hand on theirs. Hange’s breath hitched. 

“You need to rest,” Ella insisted, tone gentle. “You’re tired. No matter how brilliant, your mind won’t work properly if it’s exhausted. And most importantly, you’ll need to be awake and alert during the journey tomorrow.” 

For a moment, Ella wondered if she’d over-stepped. Hange was frozen, eyes stuck on where their hands touched. It was featherlight, but still…even Ella could feel something, _something_ there, lancing between them like a tiny shock. 

And then finally, Hange let out a sigh. “You’re right,” they murmured. They glanced to the side, eyeing the plush couch in front of the fireplace. “Would you…?” 

Elloise knew what they were asking. “Of course.” 

It was in an oddly comfortable silence that they two settled down next to each other. It wasn’t comfortable, though, when they wound up a little too close, scooting away awkwardly. 

The crackling of the fire was the sole sound in the room for a while. Hange was sipping on the sleep tea, and Ella simply didn’t know what to say. 

“I don’t think I’m ready to lead.” 

Elloise looked up sharply. Hange didn’t meet her gaze. They stared down into the cup, brows furrowed. 

“I’ve never lead an expedition before, not by myself. I was always at Erwin’s side. It feels…wrong to be in any other position.” 

The pâtissière considered this. She could recall feeling the same way when her father passed— too big of shoes to fill, too many expectations to meet. However…

“You told me that he chose you, right?” she asked. “Do you trust him enough to trust in his choice?” 

Their lips twitched upward. “That’s one way of looking at it. Besides, I’m pretty sure Levi told Erwin he’d kill him all over again if he’d named him Commander.” 

The pair shared a soft snicker. Ella shifted, getting more comfortable as time passed. Something about the coziness of the library was finally settling her anxiety. She turned her body to face Hange, leaning her head against the back of the couch. 

“So what is it you’re really scared of?” she whispered. 

A deep sadness filled Hange’s eyes. “Losing someone.” 

Ella could hear the silent _again_. She didn’t know what to say— she knew she couldn’t tell Hange to not worry about that. So instead, she asked, “What would you do if the world was different?” 

Hange tilted their head. “What do you mean?” 

“If Eldians and Marley weren’t a thing, if we didn’t have walls,” Elloise listed. “If you’d never joined the Scouts, what would you be? What would you want?” 

“I’m not sure,” Hange confessed. “I’ve never considered any other path. What about you?” 

Ella hummed thoughtfully. “I’d still bake,” she decided. “I’m lucky that my job is something I’m passionate about— not everyone has that luxury. I’d also want to be more well educated.” The Commander gave a curious look, so she added, “My reading skills are basic at best, and I don’t know how to write. Gabriele likes poems, so she’ll bring them in and have Thomas read them to us sometimes. I think I’d like writing poems if I could.” 

Hange smiled. “You have a way with words. I’m sure they’d be lovely.” The pâtissière blushed. “I think…I think I would be a doctor,” the Commander said slowly. “Science in general has always interested me, but I believe helping the sick and injured would be very rewarding.” 

Something about that made Ella grin. “You don’t think much about yourself, do you? You always put others first.” 

“War doesn’t leave time for selfishness, only selflessness,” Hange said, seemingly quoting something. “Speaking of which, if…if you ever wanted to learn how to write, I’d be happy to teach you.” 

Elloise blinked. “Really?” 

Maybe it was the sleep tea finally settling in, but there was a warmth in Hange’s eyes. It was there often, but never so bright, so inviting. It made Ella want to sink into it, to relish in the kindness. 

“Mhm,” Hange hummed. “I’ve taught others before. I’m fairly certain Eren still has his learning book around somewhere. Maybe you could ask for it in the morning before we go, read over it while we’re gone.” 

Ella thought she might melt. “That’s very generous of you. Thank you.” Hange opened their mouth to reply, but all that came out was a yawn. That was their signal to leave. 

It took little convincing for Hange to let Ella walk them back to the east wing— Ella knew the effects of her sleep tea could set in quickly, so the last thing she wanted was for the Commander of the Scouts to quite literally fall asleep in the hallway. 

They didn’t speak on the way there. Elloise wasn’t sure if she would’ve been able to speak anyways. Her mind was too full of thoughts, all fleeting and irrational. Because wondering what it would be like to brush her hand against Hange’s as they walked was irrational…right? 

When they reached the door to the Scouts’ quarters, Hange turned to face her. Sleep was evident in their eyes, and Ella smiled. Hopefully the Commander would be able to rest, now. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, right?” they asked. 

The pâtissière nodded. “I already promised Sasha and Conny— I don’t think I’d want to see their faces if I backed out.” 

Hange chuckled. “Me neither. Well…goodnight, Elloise.” 

Ella nodded a second time. “Goodnight.” 

The Commander didn’t make a move to leave, and that’s when Elloise knew it wasn’t just her— that simple goodnight had been nowhere near sufficient. She held her breath. Words couldn’t describe it, this unfinished, unspoken thing between them. 

So when Hange held out their hand palm up, Ella nearly breathed out a sigh of relief. It was a cue, a request. She replied by delicately placing her hand in theirs. 

Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t this: it wasn’t that Hange would clasp her hand, bring it up to their mouth and press soft lips to her skin, lingering, sighing when their lips left. 

“Thank you,” Hange murmured against her hand. “For your service to the Queen, to us, and for your companionship. I won’t forget your kindness while we’re away,” they paused, their thumb tracing circles now, “and…I look forward to seeing you when I return.” 

Finally, their eyes lifted to meet hers. The thought of wanting to melt in those chocolate pools flashed through Ella’s mind.

* * *

Elloise had never worn such fine clothes before. Then again, she’d never been requested to be the personal servant of the Queen for a state dinner before. 

The pâtissière fought the urge to pick at the pale blue silks and chiffon that draped her frame. She was used to cotton and linen— practical, long-lasting materials that didn’t get in her way in the kitchen. In this dress, she felt that one wrong step would cause irreparable damage. 

Even so, she understood her place, and her place was to not complain. She knew any other servant would fall over themselves to be in such finery for an evening. Still, she didn’t even know _why_ she’d been chosen. Sure, the Queen favored her due to her services to the Scouts, but that couldn’t be the only reason. 

Green eyes glanced to the side. The young Queen’s blue gaze was open, searching. Oddly wise for her age. It took in the entire room in one fail swoop, calling the attention of everyone should it wish to. 

Yet right now, she seemed almost bored. 

Elloise turned her attention back to the crowd of nobles in front of them. Wealthy lords and ladies weren’t a rarity in Mitras, but it was getting rather stuffy with so many of them in one room. Ella saw them, watched their elegant movements, took in how they were dripping with glittering gems and gilded golds, and suddenly, she thought of the Scouts, _her_ Scouts. The ones who had never even tasted hot cocoa before, the ones that were out on a mission right now, all manner of comfort stripped away from them. 

Bitter distaste for the nobles entered her mouth before she could stop it. 

“It’s quiet without them, isn’t it?” 

The pâtissière startled. The Queen’s voice had been soft, yet commanding. Ella glanced around— no one else was with them, so who…? 

Oh, the Queen was speaking to _her_. “It is, Your Highness,” she replied. Funny how neither of them needed to say whom they were referring to. 

Queen Historia then looked up. A wistful smile graced her lips. “I wish we could be there to help them all the time, don’t you? Instead of being stuck waiting inside the walls, wondering.” 

Ella’s heart twisted. “Me too.” 

Something silent and shared passed between the two. They looked out once more at the sea of politicians, all greedy and pandering. Hardly the rowdy, genuine company they’d grown used to. 

“Ella?” 

“Yes?” 

“If I’m not available to greet the Scouts when they return…please pass on my affections. And treat them to all the desserts you can manage.” 

“I plan to, Your Highness.” 

* * *

Ella remained true to her word. On the day the Scouts were expected home, she’d prepared a veritable buffet of sweets. One month’s absence had not caused her to forget a single detail about her Scouts, and so she had all of their favorites. Gabriele had just handed the final cart (the one with Mikasa’s apple crostatas and Levi’s peppermint bark) off to a servant. It was one of three that would make its way from her kitchen to the east wing. 

If Ella shooed her assistants out of the kitchen early, then it was just because she was feeling generous and _not_ because she needed some time to collect herself. 

The pâtissière dusted the flour off her dress and decided (for no particular reason) to let her hair out of their milkmaid braids for once. It wasn’t as though she’d been thinking about soft lips on her hand and deep brown eyes gazing at her every night. She had no reason to be flustered about her appearance. 

And yet, when she heard the neighing of horses echo in the distance, she couldn’t stop how her heart skipped a beat. Ella threw her cleaning cloth aside and ran to the kitchen’s window. 

There they were— safe and sound. 

The Scouts rode in, heading directly to the stables. Ella took in the sight of each one. Conny and Sasha appeared to be racing, laughing. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin all rode next to each other, silent, vacant. Ella wondered what they’d seen to make them that way. Levi headed up the rear, and Jean—

Ella swallowed. Jean was next to Hange at the front, who looked for all the world like they were glowing with happiness. 

Without another thought, she started running toward the east wing. 

She knew she looked ridiculous. She knew that she shouldn’t run in the palace, that one of the guards could call her out at any moment, but god, she didn’t care. They were _home_.   
  
Elloise burst into their east wing quarters, rushing around the table and straightening plates. Her desserts were mixed in with a large dinner provided by the palace chef. It was a spread sure to please, and when she heard the sound of multiple pairs of boots clicking against stone, she clasped her hands in front of her. 

The wooden door swung up. She smiled. “Welcome back!” 

“ELLA!” 

All at once, the pâtissière was pounced upon by Sasha, Conny, and Armin. She laughed as they squeezed her tight, words pouring out of their mouths so fast she couldn’t figure out who was saying what. 

When the trio let go, Mikasa was there to give her own gentle hug— Jean, too, who practically melted and whispered something about being glad to be back. After him, Eren fell into her arms. He held on tighter than usual and said nothing. When he stepped back, Ella took a moment to look into his eyes. They were dim, lacking their rare sparkle. She’d ask about that later. 

Elloise’s eyes then met Levi’s. The Captain gave her a curt nod, and then, to her delight, headed straight to the peppermint bark. It was more than enough of a greeting. 

The others had gathered around the table, too, each one gravitating toward their favorites and digging in. There was laughing and shouting, calls to pass a plate, elbows and tired, yet somehow bright eyes. Ella beamed with pride. Her Scouts, her lovely dear Scouts, were back in her care. 

And yet—

She turned just in time to see Hange step up to her. 

The Commander’s shoulders were slumping in exhaustion, but their eyes— oh, the expression on their face was positively adorable. “Elloise,” they greeted with a nod of their head, and it’s soft, hesitant, but so wanting and desperate. It held the echo of thirty-one days without each other’s company, and Ella knew that instant that they thought of her every one of those days. 

“Commander,” she replied, teasing. “Was the expedition successful?” 

Hange caught the hidden question. “Yes,” they replied. “I think he would’ve been proud.” 

Ella’s smile turned soft. “I’m certain of it.” 

They grinned. There was a moment where the two just stood there, staring at each other. Ella wondered what she should say— could she finally ask why they kissed her hand? Because the question had been haunting her all month, and now they were here, so—

“Anyways,” Hange cleared their throat. Their eyes flick away, and they reach into their coat. “I brought something for you.” 

Green eyes blinked. “Oh! Oh you didn’t have to—“ 

“I wanted to,” they assured. Their hand held a folded piece of paper when it reemerged. Hange held it out with a lopsided grin. “It doesn’t look like much, I know.” 

Ella took it, turning the paper over in her hands. “What is it?” 

“On our journey there, we met a potential re-settler of Wall Maria. Apparently, he was a baker well known in the Shiganshina district for his unique recipes. When I said I knew the palace pâtissière, he insisted I take one of his best.” 

Said pâtissière’s heart jumped. Hange had spoken about her? 

“—hope you like it.” 

Ella suddenly realized she had been distracted. “Y-Yes!” she replied. “I do, I appreciate it! Here, let me—“ She unfolded it carefully, being mindful of the worn creases. Instantly, she could tell it was some sort of recipe for sweet rolls. She would need Thomas to read it in full for her later, but the ingredients and measurements read out easily enough. 

“Shiganshina snowflake rolls,” Ella read aloud. “Sounds promising.” 

Hange nodded. “Yes they do, and I heard—“ 

“Did you say snowflake rolls?!” 

In tandem, the pâtissière and the Commander whipped around. Armin was staring at them with wide blue eyes. Next to him were, predictably, Eren and Mikasa. What wasn’t predictable was how they were also in shock, mouths dropped open. 

“W-We used to have those as children,” Mikasa said, dazed. “I didn’t think they still existed after the wall fell.” 

Eren reached a hand out. “Can— can I…?” Ella handed it over, and the three huddled together to read it. After a moment, Eren gasped. “I think it’s them! The frosting—“ 

“—on top, yeah, it’s like my mother used to make,” Armin laughed. 

Mikasa looked up from the paper to stare at Ella. “Could you…” 

She knew what the young woman wanted. “Of course,” Ella smiled. “I’ll make them tomorrow and have you three over for taste testing to make sure I got them right.” 

The three grinned and thanked her in unison. As they began chattering away about their memories of the rolls, Eren’s eyes glittering anew, Hange nudged Ella. The pâtissière looked up. The Commander offered her a grateful smile. 

Yeah, Ella was happy her Scouts were home. 

* * *

There was a mysterious seventh young Scout that Ella had heard of, but no one seemed to be in a rush to introduce them. 

She found out things about them in passing, and, well, they didn’t sound like a very pleasant person. They apparently had a particular disdain for Eren, Mikasa, and Armin— something that Elloise could never understand. 

Also, their name was Floch, and whenever it was said, it was spat out like a bitter piece of burnt chocolate. 

As of recently, gossip about this person had increased. It had something to due with Armin, as well. The blond had been practicing using his titan form recently, and everyone could see the toll it was taking on him. When Ella had mentioned it to Hange and Levi yesterday, they had both had shadows in their eyes. 

As with everything concerning the Scouts, there wasn’t anything practical Ella could really do to help. She couldn’t teach Armin to shift with more ease, she couldn’t steal away the odd guilt that lingered in his eyes, she couldn’t go back to before he was this. 

But she could bake, so that’s what she would do. 

The snowflake rolls had worked wonders when she first made them— she swore the trio from Shiganshina had tears in their eyes when they tasted them. Therefore, she worked to have a new batch of them ready just in time to go with their dinner this evening. 

It was a small thing, she knew. But it was what she _could_ do, so she had to. 

As she kneaded the dough, Elloise’s thoughts wandered. She thought of that word she’d heard for the first time months ago: Eldian. Even now, most people said it in hushed tones (if they said it at all). It was so odd to think of yourself one way when you’d always thought of yourself as just…human. 

It had occurred to her one dark night before bed that she, too, could be a titan. They knew how it happened now— Hange had explained it to her before. Ella shuddered at the idea…then thought of Armin. Sweet Armin with his golden locks and baby blue eyes. That big brain, that compassionate heart. 

No one had told her the details of how he’d come to be the colossal titan, and she hadn’t pressed for the information. The tense air whenever the topic came up was enough to tell her it was uncomfortable. 

And yet, with what she knew…Elloise couldn’t imagine a better choice for such a heavy burden.

“I’ll do what I can,” she whispered, a soft promise. She would comfort, aid, and cherish them all as much as her heart could. Whether or not that had been the Queen’s original intention in assigning her to the Scouts, it was now her duty. 

With a firm nod, the pâtissière resumed her task. 

An hour later saw Elloise delivering a platter full of snowflake rolls to the east wing. The pillowy treats had gotten several wistful looks on her way— she wondered if she should begin including them at formal dinners. 

When Ella walked into the Scouts’ quarters, there was a man. He had red coiffed hair, freckles dotting a pinched face, and eyes that could burn you from a mile away. 

And instantly, Elloise knew who this had to be. 

Floch.

“You, palace servant,” he called. She blinked at being beckoned so rudely by someone younger than her— all he did was roll his eyes, nose crinkling up into a sneer. “Yeah, you. Where is everyone? They said we had a meeting.” 

The pâtissière blinked yet again. “A meeting—? Oh, the one with Her Majesty. That was an hour ago in the northwest tower. If you need directions, I can—“ 

“Ugh, ridiculous,” Floch spat. “They can’t even get me the right information.” There were other mutterings, none of which Ella could hear. She set the tray down on the dining table. Everything about this young man screamed petulant, and frankly, she didn’t feel like sticking around to deal with it. 

And yet before she could make her exit, he was regarding her again. “Well? What are you standing around for?” he asked. “Do these look like the servants’ quarters? Get out.” 

There were very few times Ella could remember being properly angry— it was actually something she prided herself on. But right now, with this teenager treating her, his elder, with the utmost disrespect…

…she wished she had one of her pans to whack him in the head with. 

Elloise didn’t know how to respond because harsh words had never come easily to her. But the gods decided to save her. The moment she opened her mouth, the door to the Scouts’ quarters creaked. 

And there was Captain Levi. 

Silver-blue eyes took one look at her and Floch. “Nope,” Levi said, then grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room. 

Ella stumbled along through the hallways. She was stunned— not only at the perfect timing of his appearance, but at the fact that he was touching her at all. Levi and her had formed a pleasant friendship over the months they’d known each other, sure. But to willingly touch her? Well—

“I hate that fucker,” Levi hissed, and ah, that made sense. He was angry, too. “What did he say to you?” 

She pondered it. “Not much, he was just rude. I was about to tell him to stop—“ 

The Captain shook his head. “It doesn’t work. He’s a piece of shit that doesn’t listen to anyone but his own reflection.” 

Elloise frowned, her own rage forgotten. She’d never seen him like this before. Annoyed, yes, but not angry. What could Floch have done to make him like this? 

She opened her mouth to ask—

“Oh.” 

The pair screeched to a halt, and frankly, Ella didn’t even know where they were. She was fairly certain that Levi didn’t either— he’d just had one direction, which was _away_. 

But they had somehow reached a crossroads, and Hange had come around the corner, their gaze locked on where Levi’s hand was still holding hers, and— 

“No,” Levi stated. That must have answered everything Hange was silently asking, because then he let go. The Captain walked away without another word, leaving the two in silence. 

It lasted for five seconds before they burst out laughing. 

“Gods, I don’t think I’ll ever understand him,” Hange chuckled, wiping away a tear. 

“Me neither,” Ella giggled. “I don’t even know what just happened.”

“Ugh, just Levi being Levi.” The Commander shook their head. “What was all that about, anyway?” 

Almost instantly, Elloise sobered up and gave a groan. “I finally met Floch.” 

“Ah.” 

“Yes.” 

A wry grin appeared on Hange’s lips. “I can imagine you now understand why I hadn’t bothered to formally introduce you two.” 

“Mm, I can take a guess,” Ella replied airily. There was a moment where the two just smiled at each other, as though they had some secret joke that was only theirs to know. Then, Hange waved a hand indicating the route back to the Scouts’ quarters. They fell in step together. 

They walked along stone in comfortable silence. Ella wondered if Floch would still be there— most likely not. Surely the sight of Levi had scared some sense into the boy. 

“So…you and Levi?” 

The pâtissière’s head turned. “Hm?

Hange cleared their throat. “You’re getting along well, that is, I mean— yes.” 

There was a brief silence. Ella’s nose scrunched up in confusion. Well of course they were getting along just fine, there was no reason for them not too. Levi was a bit more crass than she was used to, but if anything, Ella found it amusing. So what did Hange mean by—

Oh. Now Elloise understood what had happened earlier. 

She smiled up at the Commander. “No.” 

Hange lifted an eyebrow. “No?” 

“Not in that way.” 

Brown eyes widened. “ _Oh_.” It came out as a breath. 

Even as she was holding back a blush, Ella’s tone turned teasing. “Oh, indeed.” 

* * *

At some point, the library became their spot. 

It was the place where they knew they wouldn’t be bothered. The kids wouldn’t come in yelling and interrupting, and even Levi didn’t like it because there was “so much goddamn dust.” Since spring had arrived, the fireplace was no longer lit in the evenings. This meant a plethora of candles, all of them flickering and lighting up their eyes. 

It was quiet. It was alone. It was Ella’s little slice of heaven on earth. 

“It looks better,” Hange hummed. They took another bite of lemon cake. “Write it out five more times.” 

Elloise picked up the quill again and set to work. The pair had been making their way through the alphabet this week. Learning such a simple thing at age twenty-seven made her feel silly, but the gentle praise from Hange was well worth it. 

When she finished a new set of letters a minute later, they nodded. “Good. Out of curiosity, what did you do if you ever needed to write something down?” 

Ella’s face flushed. “My, ah, one of my assistants Thomas can write. If he was around, I would ask him to take notes for me.” Hange laughed, but it wasn’t judgmental— it actually made Ella smile. “I know, not the best system.” 

They hummed in agreement. “What about your name? You can write that, can’t you?” 

“Oh! Yes,” she nodded, “My father taught me. Sometimes I have to sign off on supply orders, so that was important for me to know. It’s not very good, but—” Ella picked up the quill again. Even though her name was the thing she had the most practice with, it still felt foreign. She scratched the memorized letters onto the paper, then sat back and looked at Hange as though to say “see, I did it!” 

The Commander chuckled softly at the display. “Well done.” 

Ella beamed. Then, a thought occurred to her. “What about your name? How do I write it? It starts with a…an H right?” 

Something in Hange’s eyes changed. They became softer, fonder. “That’s right. H…A…N…no, that’s an M,” they corrected. 

The pâtissière frowned. “But they look just alike!” 

Hange shook their head. “Yes, but they’re different— your last name, Clairmont, has both an M and an N. They sound different.” 

Ella huffed. “Well I only ever learned to write my _first_ name.” 

Again, Hange was laughing. “It’s okay, it’s okay— here, let me show you.” Elloise nodded, determined. And yet, when their hands brushed as she passed over the quill, all thoughts of letters flew out of her mind. 

Two sets of eyes flickered up in tandem. Green searched brown, gazing, wondering. 

Ella reflected on the weeks that had passed since the Scouts’ homecoming, on this strange, almost-there-but-not-quite feeling she and Hange had been carrying with them— the one she was so certain was real, that it wasn’t just her who felt it. 

She considers last week in the kitchen pantry, when she asked Hange to reach something on the top shelf and they wound up too close, chests only inches apart. 

She considers the day after they returned home, how she sat in the stables for hours with Hange after work listening to them tell her tales of their latest expedition. 

She considers a month ago at another state dinner, when Hange stared at her in her formal servant’s gown, mouth open, cheeks flushed pink. 

She considers the passing glances, the wordless conversations, the soft chuckles, the comfortable silences, and she knows this _can’t_ be a one-way feeling. It just can’t, right? 

Elloise needed to be sure. 

Her heart raced as she leaned in, just an inch closer. When Hange’s eyes flicked down, she repeated the action— closer, closer, closer until she could hear a shuddering exhale exit the Commander’s lips. She repressed a shiver. Ella searched their eyes, and maybe, just maybe, begged a little. 

And then, for one magical moment, Hange began to lean in, too. 

But then they paused. 

Ella’s heart shattered. 

“Elloise,” Hange murmured. “I— I’m sorry, I…” 

She’d read it all wrong. Hange didn’t feel the same way as her. There had been no favoritism, no longing looks, no evenings spent together in bliss. It was a fantasy she’d all made up in her head, something she’d wanted so badly that she’d convinced herself it was true. But no, this made things clear. Ella had fallen, they had not. End of story.   
  
There was a pressure on her hand— Hange’s fingers, drifting over her skin, then squeezing tight. The gentleness of it felt like a knife through the heart. 

“Please don’t misunderstand,” they whispered. 

Ella swallowed, eyes stinging with unshed tears. “Then help me understand,” she pleaded. “I…maybe I was stupid, but I thought you—“ 

“I do.” 

The pâtissière gasped. She looked up, hopeful. Hange’s frown only deepened. 

“Elloise, you weren’t stupid— I was,” they sighed. Their hand slipped away, back down to their side, and Ella wanted so badly to take it back. “I shouldn’t have let it come this far.” 

She didn’t get it. “Why? What’s so wrong with this?” 

The Commander’s gaze turned grim. “I’ve gotten too close before. It only makes it hurt worse when they’re gone.” For the first time in a minute, Hange met Ella’s eyes. “It’s happened too many times. I don’t want you to experience it.” 

The room fell silent. It was filled with Hange’s gaze, desperate and asking for forgiveness. Ella could only meet it with her own green eyes, the ones clouded with confusion and hurt.

An indeterminable amount of time passed before Ella whispered, “I think it’s my choice to decide how close I want to get.” 

A glimmering sadness filled Hange’s eyes. All at once, Ella knew she’d pushed too far. She stood up to leave, her chair grating harshly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have— listen, if this is your way of trying to let me down easy, I understand,” she babbled, “but if it’s not, then—“ 

Looking back, Elloise doesn’t even remember Hange standing. There were just hands coming up to cup her cheeks, and then the Commander was kissing her, lemon curd sweet on their lips.   
  
The pâtissière sighed, melting all at once. Hange’s hands moved— one shifted to trace her jaw, tilting her head further, deeper. The other lowered to wrap around her waist, and Ella whimpered when their bodies collided. Gripping their jacket lapels was all she could do to stay standing. 

Hange kissed her like they did everything else; steadily, gently, then with more force, showing a passion that seeped out until it swept you along like a river. And then, they were gone, lips leaving hers and brushing against her cheek, her ear, and—

“Please stop this before it goes too far,” they panted. “Please, Elloise— I can’t resist you, so I need you to be the one to say no.” 

A moan slipped out when teeth nibbled her earlobe. “I-I can’t,” she promised. “I _won’t._ ” 

Hange made their own sound of desperation, then swooped back in to reclaim her lips. That night in their sanctuary, Ella had her heart broken and pieced back together again. She’d never been so grateful to have not known how to write. 

* * *

For someone who had at first resisted their relationship, Hange sure wasn’t subtle about it now. 

It was all Ella could do to not fall to pieces with every glance they sent her way. Hange drew her in— they’d explained how the moon worked to her before, how it was tied to their planet by invisible forces she couldn’t see, and that’s what it felt like. No matter the circumstances, Ella felt something tugging her into Hange’s presence, that warm (occasionally _hot_ ) place she wanted to linger in any time of day. 

And so, it wasn’t long before all of the Scouts knew. Elloise had brought breakfast one day a few weeks ago and had been met with six sets of twinkling eyes, all young and knowing and mischievous. Before they could even get a word out, Levi had whacked Sasha over the head with a newspaper and told them to not bother her. 

(Rest assured, the six young soldiers found her later to ask their questions.) 

In some ways, it wasn’t a secret— the Scouts knew, Ella’s assistants knew, some of the servants knew, even the Queen knew. But in others, it felt like the biggest secret Ella had ever held in her life. She, the royal pâtissière, was courting the Commander of the Scouts. 

And yet, she rarely thought of it that way because they were just…Hange. Kind and intelligent and bright, but with a grief buried deep inside and a burden heavy on their shoulders. They were courageous, had a rich laugh, and _god_ , their lips could send Ella to her own heaven. 

Right now, Hange was giving her a look that said they wanted to do just that. 

It was dinner time, and frankly, everything was perfect. The late spring sun was shining through the windows, casting the east wing suite in a golden glow. The kids were debating the different types of weaponry the three military branches had— Armin was the leader of the conversation, making the argument that including smaller tools like daggers and pistols in their arsenal wouldn’t be a bad idea. 

Levi was sipping his tea, listening and occasionally throwing in his two cents. It didn’t surprise anyone when he pulled a knife out of his boot— if anything, it just made everyone chuckle. 

And then there was Hange, who was also listening with rapt attention, but every time Ella entered their field of vision, the heat in their eyes made her want to melt. 

Elloise was now setting down a plate of mini raspberry tarts from the kitchen cart, and when she looked up, the Commander winked. The pâtissière resisted the urge to cover her cheeks as they burned. She refocused on her task and listened in. 

“I don’t know, how would we secure something as small as a dagger?” Conny asked. “We move around so much— wouldn’t it just slip out?” 

“Unless it had a similar locking mechanism to our blades,” Mikasa suggested. 

Sasha swallowed her bite of food. “Or just like, a pouch on the side attached to our belts?” 

Armin shook his head, “It would have to be made of very thick material so the dagger couldn’t cut through it.” 

Ella herself considered it for a moment as she moved the cart to the corner of the room. Even leather might eventually be cut through, assuming the daggers would be military grade— she can’t imagine them using something dull. Even her kitchen knives were dangerous when freshly sharpened. What could possibly be a good material for a pouch? 

“—about it anyways. Hey, mom?” 

Elloise hummed. “Yes, sweetie?”

The room suddenly plunged into silence. Ella blinked, realizing what she had said so thoughtlessly. When she turned to look at the table, there sat Jean, face bright red and mouth hung open. 

Ah, so that had been him. 

“I-I—“ he stammered. 

The younger Scouts exploded into laughter. 

Ella didn’t hear what they were saying, but she could hear the teasing undertones. At some point her hands had come to rest on her cheeks in surprise. Levi was giving her a look, one that said “really?” and Hange…Hange looked both amused and fond. 

Jean was yelling now, something about it being an accident and that it just slipped out, and there Elloise stood, frozen in embarrassment, but also feeling warm and bubbly inside. 

The feeling stayed with her well into the evening. She contemplated it even as she scrubbed the dishes, relishing in the space the quiet gave her thoughts. The joking had stopped eventually, and Jean had even apologized when she was on her way out, yet…

She’d felt the need to tell him the apology wasn’t necessary. 

Strong arms wrapped around her waist. Ella instantly fell back into a familiar chest. 

“All done with sweeping the pantry,” Hange reported. Their breath tickled her neck, and she resisted a shiver. 

“You really didn’t have to,” Elloise replied instead. She could feel them shrug behind her. At some point it had become a habit for Hange to help her clean the kitchen at night. It was just a little bit of alone time— similar to their evenings in the library. In the past, Ella had done the cleaning and then gone to join Hange. Now, on the nights they could, Hange had decided to stick with her because “what, do you not want me around for an extra half hour?” 

At this hour, the kitchen was dim and lit only from the street lamps’ glow outside the window. Shadows were cast in every which direction, and Ella might have minded them if they didn’t provide the couple with a hint of privacy to hide in. 

A pair of lips found the crux of her neck and shoulder, and she gasped. Slim fingers were teasing along the hem of her waist apron. Then there was Hange’s tongue, gliding along her skin up toward her ear. They lapped at the sensitive spot there, then trailed back down to sink teeth into freckled ivory. 

Ella shuddered. The room was silent, but it felt like it was close to boiling over. All she could hear were her own sighs, breathy and stuttering each time Hange nipped at a new place. She would have to wear a tunic with a high collar tomorrow, for sure. 

Hands settled on her waist and lips left, finally giving the pâtissière reprieve. She opened her mouth to speak—

Only to be turned around and have her lips captured. 

“Mmh!“ she remarked unintelligently. As far as she was concerned, no one could possibly be in their right mind when they were kissed like _this_. When it was hot, tongues dipping in and out like they were trying to map out each other’s mouth, when hands were gripping tighter and tighter until—

“Hange!” Ella squeaked as she was picked up. The Commander laughed, setting her down on the stone counters, and _god_ , Elloise must have done something good in a past life. Hange was kissing her again, now on the same level, and Ella poured all she could into it. She tilted her head deep, deeper until Hange growled, leaving her lips and heading back to her neck. 

All of it was a blur of bliss— she didn’t notice that Hange was standing between her legs, didn’t even notice when she wrapped them around their waist. All that existed was heat and sin hidden in the dark shadows of her sanctuary, and Ella wished to drown in it for all of eternity. 

Unbeknownst to her, Ella’s hips had begun to twitch forward. “Hange,” she pleaded, not knowing what she was asking for. “Hange, please, _more_ , I—“ 

They ripped themself away. 

Elloise let out her whine without a care in the world. Why? Why did they stop? 

It was only then she realized they were panting. Red stained their cheeks, and those lovely brown eyes were almost swallowed whole by the black desire of their pupils. 

“I’m sorry, I…” Hange swallowed. They closed their eyes and took in a deep breath. Ella watched as shoulders relaxed, hands became fluid and gentle again, no longer pressing into her with every fiber of strength they possessed. 

When brown eyes opened again, they gazed at her with such sweet adoration that Ella felt she might faint. 

Hands came forward— an offering. Ella rested her face in their grasp, nuzzling against warm palms. And for just a minute, it was quiet again. Fingers that usually gripped swords were kind as they brushed red strands of hair out of her face. Ella’s own hands came to rest around Hange’s neck, and when their foreheads bumped together softly, the pâtissière sighed, content. 

“So…” Hange trailed off. Ella hummed for them to continue. A twinkle of mischief entered their eyes. “Are we going to talk about what happened at dinner?” 

All at once, the embarrassment came flooding back. “Gods,” Ella groaned, to which her partner snickered. “I should apologize to Jean, shouldn’t I? He told me he was sorry earlier, but really, I feel like I made everything worse—“

The Commander chuckled. “It’ll blow over soon. I thought it was cute, anyways.” 

Hands flew to cover her red face. “Not helping.” 

They just laughed again. The pair fell silent. At some point, Hange’s hands had made their way to her back. They trailed soothing circles, gently pulling any lingering self-consciousness out of her. Ella sighed and sank into it. 

“You know,” Hange murmured after a while. “You really have become like that to some of them— a mother. Several of those kids don’t have parents anymore.” 

The words felt all at once like an embrace and a dagger. Ella shuddered out a breath. “I know, they’ve told me. If…if I can make them feel like they have some place to call a home again…then I feel like my job is done.” 

The Commander hummed. They leaned back out of the warmth, then pressed their lips to hers. It was sweet, sweeter than Ella’s best caramel, and she melted against them. There was something Hange had— this gentle glow like a fireplace on a cold winter night. Ella couldn’t think of a single reason she’d ever tire of it. 

Their lips parted with a pop, making Ella giggle. Hange just nuzzled their nose against hers. 

“I think you’d be a great mother one day, if you wanted to be,” they said. Then they frowned, and suddenly, all the warmth in the room dissipated. 

Elloise’s mouth turned downward. This had been happening lately. “Hange?” she whispered, one hand moving to cup their cheek. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

The Commander hesitated. “I…I can’t give that to you.” The pâtissière’s head tilted, and Hange sighed, “Children. Not just because of the war, but biologically.” 

Her heart stung. Hange had been doing this lately— bringing up reasons why their relationship wasn’t a good idea. Last week it had been during the planning of their next expedition, and the week before that, it had been when a noble at a dinner had shown interest in Ella. 

She tried to not take it personally because something in her knew what this really was. Hange was still trying to give her an escape, an easy way out. 

And she would just continue to say no. 

“I don’t care,” Ella stated simply. “I have my job here and no particular inclination to start a family. As for a successor, I’ve begun to look through the other servant families for an apprentice.” 

There was pain in the soldier’s gaze. “So you’re sure you don’t want—“ 

“No,” Ella shook her head. “Never have.” She searched brown eyes, then put on a smile that she knew was bittersweet. “And even if I did, that wouldn’t make you worthless to me. You aren’t a means to an end, Hange.” 

The inhale they took was shaky. And yet, the Commander leaned forward and pressed their lips to her forehead. 

If ever asked about it, Ella would deny the tear she felt splash down onto her skin.

* * *

No matter how many times she’d let Armin regale her with tales of the sea, Ella had never quite been able to fathom it. The most she’d ever seen were the aqueducts that ran throughout Mitras— not even a natural stream or a lake. So to imagine a body of water so large that it never ended…frankly, it sounded terrifying. 

And that’s where the Scouts were headed to tomorrow. Or so they assumed. 

There was a tension in the air. This was it— the thing everyone had been waiting for. The final test to see if those mysterious books were true. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were particularly uptight in the week leading up to the expedition. They spoke in hushed tones, huddled together anxiously. 

Captain Levi hit them over the head once when they did this. “It’s either gonna be there or it’s not,” he said. “Wondering about it won’t change anything.” 

To put it simply: each one of the Scouts was a mess in their own way. So, of course, Ella stepped in to help however she could. 

What she didn’t expect was a horse knocking a bucket full of dirty water onto her. 

“Oh no!” Sasha yelped. “Ella! Are you okay?” 

…perhaps the stables hadn’t been the best place for her to assist. 

The pâtissière stood up, trying to not show her disgust. After all, she’d volunteered for this. “I’m fine, really, just,” green eyes glanced down at soaked linen, “messy.” 

Levi spared her a glance in the middle of brushing his mare. “Don’t just stand there, you’ll get sick.” 

Ella rolled her eyes. “It’s not winter—“ 

“Regardless, you need to get changed,” Hange interrupted her. Elloise blinked at the concern in their voice. It really wasn’t a big deal, she got dish water on her all the time. However…she wouldn’t mind being fretted over if the one doing the fretting was Hange. 

As soon as she nodded her assent, Hange was taking her hand and leading her into the palace. 

“Where are your quarters?” they asked.

“Oh! They’re—“ and it then hit Ella that the two of them had never spent time alone in either of their private rooms, and she stammered out, “i-in the, um, near the kitchen.” 

The Commander nodded. “And you have a bath, yes?” 

Ella’s cheeks heated. “Yes, I’m lucky to have one to myself.” 

She felt embarrassed being caught like this. She knew Hange didn’t mean anything, but their questions made her mind go to deeper, sweeter places, ones filled with steam and breathy sighs, and—

“You poor thing,” Hange tsked, shaking their head. “I know you have to be uncomfortable right now.” As if on cue, a drop of filthy water fell from the hem of Ella’s dress to the top of her foot, and her nose scrunched up in distaste. Yes, surely Hange wasn’t thinking along the same lines she was. They were just being caring and kind, as always, and were making sure she was properly escorted to her quarters without further embarrassment. 

Or so she thought, because when they arrived at her door, Hange invited themself in. “I’m guessing your bath is behind that door, yes?” they asked, referring to the one across from her bed. 

Elloise blinked. “Ah, yes, it is.” 

They nodded, then strutted right into the bathroom. “Right. You pick out a change of clothes, and I’ll get your bath started.” 

The pâtissière’s heart skipped a beat. Were they…? No, no of course not. They were just going to prepare the water for her and then leave. 

Again, she was wrong. 

“Alright,” Hange said, patting the side of the tub. They were kneeling on the floor, and Ella almost dropped the clothes she’d been holding in her arms. “Come sit. I hope the water’s the right temperature for you— I don’t know how you like it.” 

…apparently, Elloise needed to stop making assumptions. 

She took a hesitant step forward. “I…you don’t have to, Hange, I’m sure the others are waiting for you back in the stables.” 

They hummed. “True. But I want to spend more time with you before I leave.” Elloise fidgeted awkwardly. Hange blinked. “But if you’re uncomfortable with me— sorry, god, I really didn’t think about how this was coming across. I’ll just—“ and they started to stand. 

“N-No, it’s, ah,” Ella stammered. Hange froze. The pâtissière’s face was burning at this point. Green eyes stared down at stone floors. “I’m not…uncomfortable, per se. I’ve just never…with another…” 

All at once, Hange relaxed again. “Oh, I didn’t know. In the Survey Corps, it’s,” they laughed awkwardly, “I don’t know, we don’t think much about it. We all help each other get dressed each morning, put on our gear together and such. I’ve gotten used to it.” 

Elloise nodded shyly. That explained a lot, no wonder Hange had been so casual about this. And so, the woman swallowed. “I’d like to spend more time with you tonight, too, so…could you maybe…close your eyes? Just until I’m in the water?” 

Hange grinned. “Of course.” In an instant, their eyes closed. 

Ella swore her heartbeat had to be audible. 

She peeled the dirty servant’s dress off slowly, keeping her eyes on Hange. They didn’t even try to peek. The water had seeped all the way through to her skin, and when the dampness met cool palace air, Ella shivered. 

Each step toward the bath felt like it spelled some sort of doom, yet it was a fate she wanted. Elloise had never been like this around another person— had never desired to. It was open and honest and exposed. It showed the marks on her thighs from when she’d grown taller, showed the pudge around her waist from taste testing all day, showed the scars from burns and cuts when she was little. 

And yet, she didn’t want to run. 

She sank down into warm water slowly, holding in a sigh. Of course Hange had gotten it right— when didn’t they? Bubbles skimmed the top of the tub, giving some modesty back. 

Finally, Elloise said, “You can open your eyes.” 

She tilted her head back just in time to see them do so. Hange simply smiled, then pressed a kiss to her hairline. “Alright, let’s get you clean.” 

The first few minutes of the process passed in blissful silence. Ella luxuriated in the feeling of a soft cloth wiping over her, gentle and soothing. Her partner was humming a random tune— she was fairly sure even they didn’t know what it was. Still, it was so relaxing that Ella felt she could fall asleep just like this. 

But after a while, Hange murmured, “I wonder if this is what the sea will be like. Water on all sides, surrounding you.” 

Green eyes fluttered open. “Maybe. I still find it hard to imagine. Armin showed me drawings of it, but…I can’t fathom it.” 

Her partner made a noise of agreement. “I’ll document as much as I can about it if— _when_ we get there.” 

“Maybe…you could bring me something?” Ella requested. “I don’t know what would be there, but something.” 

The cloth was set down, and Hange placed their fingers on her shoulders, digging in to rub gently. “Hm, how about a jar full of salt water? Armin says the ocean is full of it.” 

“ _No_ ,” Ella giggled. “I doubt it would even make it back.” 

The Commander chuckled. “I’ll think of something.” Then, they were leaning down and pressing a kiss to her ear. “All done. Want me to leave while you change?” 

No, no Ella most certainly did not. Because something about that sweet brush against her skin had left fire molten inside of her, and now her core was burning, wanting. 

Hange’s fingers were still innocently rubbing at her shoulders. The pads of them were rough and worn. Ella suddenly wanted them all over her, but she didn’t know how or why. 

Her shiver finally alerted them that something was amiss. “Elloise? Are you cold? You should get dressed.” They made to stand, their touch leaving her. “I’ll leave—“ 

Ella caught their hand. “No,” she breathed. “It’s…could you do that? Again?” 

The woman was glad she was facing away from her partner. Her cheeks were hot, a stark contrast to the lukewarm water she sat in, and behind her, she could hear a faint gasp. 

“As you wish,” Hange murmured. That was all the warning she got before something warm and wet was laving at her throat. 

“A-Ah,” Ella exhaled. She was tense, yet loose all at once. Her center ached with need. She was half tempted to let her own fingers trail downward, but— “Ha…Hange,” she moaned when teeth bit into damp skin. 

They groaned, then released. “Do you want me to stop?” they offered. “I swear this wasn’t my intention in—“ 

“I know,” she shuddered. “I know you didn’t plan to, but I…please, Hange, keep going.” 

There was a pause. “Elloise, look at me.” 

She did as she was told, shifting the waters as she did so. For a moment, the two simply took each other in. Gazing, asking. Her heart was racing, and there was a flush on Hange’s cheeks. When she leaned forward, they rushed to meet her halfway. 

Their lips met hot and feverish, tasting, exploring. Hands were grasping at her bare back, slick from the water, and Ella rose up to meet them further. Her upper half was exposed now and bubbles were running down between her breasts, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was pressed up against Hange’s uniform shirt, white cotton for once instead of pale yellow, and she reveled in the feeling of naked skin against cloth. Something about it left her yearning, wanting more— it was a barrier she wished to tear through. 

Suddenly, Hange ripped away. “Here—“ they panted, reaching blindly. “Towel. You’ll— I can’t have you getting sick right as I leave, I’d be worried the whole time.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ella sighed. She didn’t even realize the endearment slipped out. All she knew was Hange, who was draining the tub and wrapping a towel around her, caring and tender and everything she’d never known she’d wanted. 

The tub now empty, Hange lifted one of Ella’s feet up to rest on the side. The woman didn’t quite know what to expect— certainly not for the Commander of the Scouts to kiss her ankle, and then to slowly make their way upward. 

The fire in Ella’s core had settled down into a steady smolder. With each sweet press of lips on her skin, a part of her heart melted and shattered all at once. She didn’t want to think about spending who knows how long without Hange. No one knew how far the sea was— would it take them weeks? Months? A year? 

The thought was sidetracked only because Hange was now kissing at her hip bone, and Ella gasped. 

The smolder caught a spark. 

She wanted them further over, deeper, in her center, but no, they continued upward, to her soft stomach, higher— 

Hot air puffed out onto her left breast. 

“I…” Hange trailed off. “I don’t know what you want.” Brown eyes looked up obediently into green. “Tell me?” 

Ella shuddered. “I-I don’t know, either. I just know that I _want_.” 

Lust immediately filled Hange’s eyes. Ella only had a second to wonder what was going through their brain— and then, she was being picked up. Swaddled in the towel still, yet her front bare to her lover. Cool tile met her neck as she was pressed up against the wall. Her lips were captured first, and then, they were released in favor of her breast. 

“A-Ah, Hange,” Ella moaned. She grasped at auburn locks. Their tongue lapped at the bud, bringing it to stiffness before their mouth swallowed it whole and sucked. Hange repeated the process five times over, and Ella wasn’t even aware her hips had begun to move on their own. They sought out friction, something, _anything_ to satisfy the ache that had returned to a raging wildfire. 

“You’re divine,” Hange murmured as they switched to the other. “Never seen someone so perfect.” 

Her breath hitched. “I-I’m not— _oh_.” They had set back to work dutifully, mapping her out with their tongue. The fire grew stronger.   
  
The Commander sucked one last time, then began their ascent up to her shoulder, her neck. “You are,” they insisted. “Every part of you. And you’re _mine_.” 

The words caused a rush so intense that Ella almost came. She was lost in the throes of bliss, in the heat of a moment that was so fleeting, and sentences no longer seemed capable of coming out. 

“Hange,” she gasped, rutting against their hips. “Hange, _Hange_ —“ 

“Shh, darling,” they tutted in her ear. “I think we should stop.” 

Elloise nearly groaned out loud— she’d had no idea the Commander would be a complete and utter tease. Instead, she yanked herself back away from Hange. The sight before her made her mouth water. 

Their white shirt had become drenched by their contact, soaked through and showing perky nipples outlined by thin fabric. 

Ella felt her lust increase tenfold. 

“Let me,“ she panted, reaching for the buttons, “I want to return the favor, _please_ —“ 

Anything else she was about to say was cut off by a pair of lips. Ella melted into the kiss, sighing, her mission so quickly forgotten. It was so oddly sweet compared to what had just happened, but it seemed that was Hange’s goal. They kissed her until the heat fully dissipated, until her hips stopped moving, until her hands were no longer frantic. 

Ella’s fingers were tracing their jawline when they finally parted. 

“When I’m back,” Hange said, and for a moment, Ella didn’t realize what they meant. Then, brown eyes were gazing adoringly into green. “We’ll pick up where we left off. It’ll give both of us something to look forward to.”

The woman swallowed harshly. “Okay.” 

* * *

She waited. 

In the process, Elloise inadvertently became a lady-in-waiting for the Queen, who has insisted upon being called Historia. The two held a similar air around them— one of hope, anxiety, and impatience all bound together. They found solace in one another’s company, in telling stories about the Scouts as though they were years ago instead of months, in filling the seemingly ever-expanding loneliness of the palace.

People complained. The new-found friends ignored them.

Ella stayed away from the east wing at all costs. It felt haunted now. Echoes of laughter rang through the silence, debates over weaponry could still be heard, boots against stone and swords clanging idly at someone’s side were whispers. 

It goes without saying that she treated the library the same way. 

When she wasn’t at Historia’s side or in her own quarters, she was in the kitchen. Work was the only thing that could occupy her mind enough. The morning the Scouts had left, she’d baked a three layered cake so impressive that Helga forced her to leave the kitchen early. 

When she was alone in her quarters, it was worse. Elloise all too quickly realized she needed a solution, and she found it in the reading and writing books Hange had given her. It made her feel like she was accomplishing something, at least. Any attempts at poetry were still childish at best, but they were better than before when she knew nothing but the memorized letters of her name. 

One month into their absence, she can write full sentences. Thomas, who had so kindly been checking over her work, suggested she attempt writing a letter. He never said to whom, but it was obvious enough. 

She soon developed a pile of parchment filled with wistful words on her dresser. 

_I miss you,_ Ella wrote now, a hardback book as her desk. It had been five weeks since they’d left for the sea. _Your brown eyes are pretty and kind. I think of you each day. I look out the window for you. You are too far. I want you here._

Elloise sat back and re-read it. Her words would never be as flowery as the works Hange read her or even the notes they’d written down during meetings. But hopefully by the time they came back, she’d have something less elementary to give them. 

Nodding, she shifted to dip her quill into ink once more—

—only to knock over the well with her elbow. 

“Shit,” she cursed softly. Oh well, no point in complaining. Ella got up from her bed in search of a cleaning cloth, and thankfully the ink hadn’t spilled too far by the time she got back. It was creeping up to the edge of her empty parchment pieces— she made sure to wipe up that bit first. 

To her utter dismay, though, it had begun to flow off the nightstand and onto the floor, and even into the singular top drawer the piece had. She sighed, but continued to mop up the mess. 

Ella opened the drawer to skim the cloth over the wood. There wasn’t much she kept in there anyways, just random bits and bobs she never really had a place for. This is why a piece of white parchment, folded neatly with her name written on it, caught her attention so quickly. 

She blinked at it. It wasn’t either of her parents’ handwriting— theirs had grown wobbly and crooked with either illness or age. Plus, she had all of their letters stored in a box in her wardrobe. So who…? 

Her heart skipped a beat. It had to be Hange. 

Hands shaking, she reached for it. When she opened it up and saw the first three words, a hand flew to her mouth, and she let out a choked sob. 

_My Dearest Elloise,_

_The issue with going on an expedition to an unknown place is the inability to send letters to you. Therefore, I decided I would leave this one— I hope you find it, and that it will be a comfort to you during my absence. And, should we encounter trouble while on our mission, that this will serve as a suitable goodbye._

Trembling, Ella sank to the floor. She could hardly read the letter due to the tears flooding her eyes, not to mention some of the bigger words she didn’t recognize, but she pressed on. 

_The memory of when we first met will always be a treasured one. I remember you entering the room— your eyes were so bright, your smile so kind. My first thought was that you were beautiful beyond measure. My second thought was that I would never be able to act on my attraction, and thus I attempted to push aside any further thoughts of you._

_How foolish that was. You were determined, it seemed, to take up residence in my mind. You embraced my soldiers, became more than a servant for them. You gave us a home when we had none, comfort when all we knew was loss, and joy when we had survived strife._

_I knew all too soon that I would not be able to resist someone so bright, so caring. Even when I have resisted you for fear of my own shortcomings, you did not let me stray. You have embraced me, have lavished my soul with a warmth I never knew I could have, have given me a greater desire to continue in my life’s mission._  
  
_I wish to give you that same affection should I return. If I cannot, then I hope you remember the brief time we have spent together with fondness. I love you with all I am, Elloise. I will speak those words to you as soon as I can, whether here on this earth or in some heavenly realm. Even then, they would not be enough._

_Yours Always,_  
_Hange Zoë_

Broken sobs wracked the woman’s body. Tears struck the parchment and smeared the words, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. All she wanted was for her lover to return to her.

Ella had never been a religious woman, but that night, she prayed with all of her heart for the Scouts’ safety. 

* * *

They return in the middle of the night one month later. 

Hooves stomping on cobblestones jolt her awake. It takes her only a few seconds to realize what is happening— they’re _home_ , and they’re _alive_ , right? They had to be. 

Ella tumbled out of bed to the window. She could make out green capes fluttering in the flickering courtyard lights. She jolted as though a clanging bell had rung in her ears and promptly ran to her chest of drawers. 

The rush to get dressed was unbearable. She detested each layer she tossed on, cursing the proprieties expected of her sex. Elloise hopped around as she tugged on her stockings, uncaring that they were mismatched, and then pulled on her servant’s dress. A light cloak followed, then her shoes— she nearly tripped putting them on. 

By the time she was ripping her quarters’ door open, the sound of horses was non-existent. They must have been put away. Should she head to the east wing? That was where the Scouts would most likely reconvene, and if not there, then the throne room or perhaps even the Queen’s quarters. 

Either way, it didn’t matter. Ella ran out of her room and down the hall as fast as her feet could carry her. One step, two, three, four (she nearly tripped in her haste), five—

And then there was the familiar sound of boots on stone. 

Hange had once explained to her how magnets work. It had been one of their quiet evenings in the library. They’d taught her in hushed tones, eyes sparkling and hands waving around. 

Elloise thought she now understood why people called it a romantic attraction. 

That could be the only explanation, after all, as to how Hange was running toward her, too, both pulled by invisible forces that no one would ever fully understand. A noise akin to a sob broke from her lips. Hange let out a similar sound, but it was a laugh— sweet, disbelieving, relieved. 

And so it was that not even ten steps down the hallway, Ella was being scooped up by the Commander of the Scouts. And not even a tenth of a second into their embrace, her lips were captured. The pâtissière melted at once. 

Hange sighed against her. She felt movement, but didn’t care where they were taking her. All she knew were desperate touches and heat and longing and— the _letter_. 

Instantly, Elloise pulled away. “I love you, too,” she gasped against their mouth. “I love you, I love you, I— _mnnn_ ,” she whimpered, because the soldier had taken her lips once more. There was the sound of her door creaking open, and then being shut by Hange’s foot. 

The woman was taken to bed. She could feel herself being laid down, gently, easily. And finally, Hange broke away. The look they gave her made everything else cease to exist. 

“Elloise,” they whispered. “Oh, my Elloise.” 

Brown eyes were quick to fill with tears, and Ella was quick to wipe them away. “You’re back,” she said as though she was affirming the fact. “You’re home. And the others?” 

Hange smiled. “Fine, we’re all fine. Not a scratch on us.” The woman let out a sigh of relief. Then, a hand was drifting down, cupping her face. “It’s real, Elloise. The sea— I saw it.” 

She blinked. “Really?” 

And suddenly, her lover let out a laugh. “Yes! It is!” they squealed. “And I did just as you asked—“ Hange shifted, sitting back on their legs to reach into a pouch on their belt. Ella watched with bated breath as they pulled something out, an odd, almost-jewel like object that spiraled and swirled with an opal shine. 

The woman swallowed. “What…what is it?” 

Hange chuckled, “Don’t worry, it’s not dangerous. It’s a shell— like the ones in lakes, but it’s from the sea. So I call it a seashell! And look,” they moved to put it up to her ear. “It sounds like the sea, I swear it. Just listen.” 

Green eyes showed their confusion, but still, there were plenty of things Hange understood that she never would. And so, she went quiet. Hange leaned over her, their face bright with excitement as they waited. 

That’s when she heard it. 

It was…strange. She had absolutely nothing to compare it to, other than sugar when tossed around in its container, and even that didn’t match it. There was an airy quality to it that she couldn’t fathom, couldn’t imagine. Was this what so much water sounded like when it was all together? Crashing, spilling against itself?

Ella wasn’t sure why her eyes began to sting. Maybe it was the long wait. Maybe it was wonder, that deep curiosity about what else lied outside the walls. Maybe it was her inner desire to have seen such a marvel with her lover. 

Whatever the reason, Hange seemed to understand. Their eyes softened, and they set the shell down on her nightstand before returning their attentions to her. Rough hands took her face, thumbs wiping at the tears that spilled down onto rosy cheeks. 

“My dearest,” the Commander murmured affectionately. “What you said earlier…that means you found my letter, right?” 

Sniffing, Elloise put on a watery grin. “The words would hold true even if I hadn’t.” 

Hange’s lips twitched upward. “That’s good, I was worried I was too bold.” When Ella gave them an amused look, they just shook their head. “I know. Regardless, you now know my feelings for you in full, that I love you with all of my heart.” Their eyes left hers, then, slowly trailing down her body. Elloise shivered at the heat in them. 

A hand was tracing down her side now, too. Along her neck, down her shoulder and to the sleeve of her dress, then downward, brushing past her breast, caressing her waist, and settling on her hip. Already, Elloise felt an ache pulsing in her center. 

Hange’s eyes were locked on her hips, dark with want. “I made you a promise before I left,” they drawled. Ella felt the air leave her lungs.   
  
“You—“ she swallowed harshly, “you did.” 

The Commander hummed. Their touch drifted down further, teasing where the top of her stockings met her inner thigh. Then suddenly, they looked up at her. Their eyes held a false innocence. “Did you think about my promise while I was gone, Elloise?”

The woman shuddered. Already, her hips were twitching, seeking out friction. “Yes,” she breathed. Hange was leaning up now, and when a tongue slipped out to taste her neck, it was like a key unlocking Ella’s mouth. “I-I thought of you each night,” she gasped out. “I thought of you until I could bear it no more, until I had to use my own hands to satisfy me, and even then it wasn’t enough.” 

A noise akin to a growl made its way out of Hange’s throat. “I wanted to devour you that night,” they hissed. Teeth then bit into the side of her neck, and Elloise cried out. When they let go, they were breathing harshly. “I wanted to break you and remold you,” Hange ground out through clenched teeth. “Mark you so that everyone would know you were taken while I was away.” 

Elloise trembled. She already wasn’t so sure how much more of this she could take— Hange’s voice alone was causing the stirring heat inside her to come to a boil. She reached blindly, finding the edge of their green cloak and tugging. Her lover understood. 

The woman wanted to whimper when her soldier rose and got off the bed, but she didn’t stop them. Taking off clothes was only a means to an end. And regardless, Hange made quick work of it, their eyes burning into hers all the while. 

Straps of leather fell to the ground in pieces. Then boots and a belt, trousers, jacket, and the cape. Hange undid the top two buttons of their shirt, and Ella had to hold in a moan. It was as though they knew what they were doing teasing her like that, now standing before her in just undergarments and their collared shirt. 

When they got back up on the bed and leaned over her, it was predatory. Elloise desired nothing more than to be devoured like Hange had wanted. 

And yet, even as their eyes continued to burn with lust, Hange took their time with her. They slipped off her shoes, dropping them gently off the end of the bed. Hands slid up over stockings, and her servant’s dressed pooled at her things. Ella bit her lip to hold in a moan as the soldier stripped the stockings off, leaving her legs bare. 

Hange then moved further up. The moment their fingers dipping around the edges of her undergarments, Elloise tensed. She wriggled, as though it would give them the hint of yes, please, _now_. 

Instead, all she got was a hum. “Mmm, I think I’ll wait.” 

Elloise was about to groan in frustration, but then, Hange nudged their nose forward, and she gasped. The nuzzle against her center was feather-light, teasing, horribly inadequate. 

Too soon, Hange pulled back. Ella was panting at this point. She was completely at their mercy, and she knew it— all of this would go at Hange’s pace, which evidently was arduously slow. The woman’s mind was so hazy that she barely paid attention to the buttons of her dress coming undone, or to the sweet kisses left behind each one. 

When her dress was tossed aside, leaving her in undergarments and her linen underskirt, she finally begged, “ _Hange_. Hange, _please_.” 

Their mouth was at the slope of her breast now. She could feel it turn into a smirk. “What do you want, Elloise?” Hange asked. They took the top of her bra into their teeth, peeling it downward. 

“You,” she moaned, and her hips rutted up into the air. “Anything, please. You made me wait so long, and— _ah!_ ” Ella cried out. Their tongue was now circling her nipple. A calloused thumb gave attention to the other. 

Her heart was racing, she knew she was flushed from her cheeks down to her chest, and she _wanted_. She couldn’t wait anymore. Therefore, Elloise squirmed around until she could reach at her skirt, pushing it down and kicking it off. Then, she searched for the buttons of Hange’s shirt. One by one, she got them undone, and she relished in the scar-marred skin that was revealed. 

When the last button was undone, her lover broke away from her breast. “So eager,” Hange tutted. 

Ella could only laugh breathlessly. She didn’t think much of it when she let her hand trail downward, skimming over Hange’s clothed sex. When they gasped, she grinned. “I don’t think I’m the only one.”   
  
The Commander let out a broken moan. Her moment of boldness seemed to get her what she wanted— in an instant, they were moving southward, and her final piece of clothing was slipped down to reveal her own wet center. 

She didn’t quite know what to expect. All she’d ever felt were her own fingers, and their movements were calculated, nothing to anticipate. But now, she was out of control, and so when Hange’s tongue flicked out to get a taste, it was all Ella could do to grasp at their hair and throw her head back, gasping. 

The soldier took her reaction as a command to continue. They lapped once more, dancing over and around her sweet spot, and Ella couldn’t _breathe_. The sensation was unfathomable— hot, wet, switching between teasing and religious devotion.   
  
And then there were two fingers, gentle, slipping over and hesitating at her entrance. 

Ella only squirmed more. “In,” she panted, “I-Inside, please.” 

Hange obeyed silently. If she’d had her wits about her, Elloise would’ve seen how her lover regarded her as they entered— how they looked at her with such reverence, such wonder. Would have seen the fire burning in their eyes as she let out a satisfied sigh, the emptiness within her finally being filled.

But those green eyes had screwed shut as Hange’s fingers slid in delicately, and Ella’s back was arched in pleasure. Her toes were wriggling, heels slipping against sheets again and again as she pressed her center down onto Hange’s touch, wanting _more, deeper._

When the stretch of a third finger made Elloise whimper in slight discomfort, Hange facilitated her by laving their tongue again, soothing the ache and somehow making it all the worse. 

“Talk to me, dearest,” the Commander murmured against soaked, pliable skin. “Does it hurt?” 

Ella was quick to shake her head, which only served to make her dizzier than she already was. “No, n-not—“ she gasped. They had crooked their fingers upward. “A-Ah, no I’m just not used to— _hnn_.” 

“Sshhh, Elloise,” Hange tutted. She still couldn’t see their face, but she heard the grin in their voice. “You don’t already want to come, do you? Why, it’s been so long. I was hoping you’d last longer.” 

They prodded again, hitting a spot within her she’d never been able to find herself, and Ella really didn’t give a damn about such ridiculous notions. “I don’t care h-how, _oh_ , quick it is if I can— _a-ah_ , if I get to keep you. Then I’ll have you as many times as I want.” 

She felt their smirk against her center. “Mm, you’re presumptuous.” 

If it weren’t for the fact that her lover was now two knuckles deep in her, thrusting in and out rhythmically in time with their tongue sweeping over her sweet spot, Ella would have laughed. Her? Presumptuous? Says the person who left her for the sea with no promise of return, expecting open arms if they came back. 

She hoped their assumptions about each other would always be correct. 

But Elloise wasn’t in the state to reply— not when the heat inside her was building, coiling, almost _begging_ as she felt release inch closer. She writhed endlessly; frankly, it was a miracle she didn’t knee Hange in the head. But something about how they took care of her, slowly, achingly, with precision and the occasional tease of extra pressure or suction, made Ella incapable of control. 

She teetered on the edge, now. One more push was all it would take. For a heart-wrenching second, Hange stopped in their ministrations. Ella groaned loudly, about to make her complaints of endless teasing heard—

But then they thrust into her harder, tasted her deeper, and she should have taken the pause as a note to breathe, because now she couldn’t— not when she came so hard she wanted to weep, her center pulsing as more fluids slipped out, her voice reaching heights she hadn’t known. 

Hange moaned against her, lapping up everything she gave. When they finally pulled away, their gasps were synchronized, and pupils were blown wide as they stared at each other. 

“You, taste,” the Commander huffed, then lunging forward, “ _divine_.” 

Ella groaned as their lips met, not even caring that she tasted herself. The kiss was all sloppy and wet, artless in its desperation. They could have kissed for days, but as the energy that had seeped out of her began to return, Elloise found herself pushing them away. 

“ _You_ ,” she stated, as if it made sense. 

Hange only blinked. “Me?” 

“Yes,” Elloise nodded, and though she was already flushed all over, her face reddened even more. “I want to know what you like, what you— what I can do for you right now.” 

There was a pause, and then her lover was chuckling. “I, well—“ 

“You’re not allowed to get bashful on me after that,” Ella said bluntly. 

“Wouldn’t think of it,” Hange was quick to reply. The woman watched as her parter’s nose scrunched in thought, and part of her was amused. Had they really only thought of her satisfaction and not their own? 

A light touch on her knee brought her back, and she looked up to see hesitancy on Hange’s face. Their fingers were tracing light circles on her skin. “Your legs,” they murmured. 

They swallowed thickly, and Ella tilted her head. “What about them?” 

One finger turned into three, and then their entire palm was sliding down her thigh. Down to her hip, and then up again to her knee. Once more, and Hange cleared their throat. “Can I ride them?” 

As one who had certainly more time in the kitchen than the bedroom, Elloise first felt confusion. But then, she pictured it: her lover aching, their hips bucking against her thigh, them sighing with delight when the friction was finally enough to tip them over the edge. 

Ella could feel her own arousal pooling again at the thought.   
  
“Y-Yes,” she nodded fervently. “Whatever you want.” 

Hange seemingly melted at her answer. It all turned into slow motion from there— how she tugged off their remaining undergarments, the way her lover sat her up against the pillows, letting her legs stay straight in front, and then, finally, how the soft press of Hange’s wet slit against her thigh turned into the first hard grind. 

Elloise watched, mesmerized, as her partner’s mouth fell open in a silent gasp. Another shift, and a shudder went down their spine. While part of Ella wanted to sit back and enjoy the show, the other part of her was not content with what she’d had of Hange so far. 

Her touch just above their hips made their breath hitch. She gripped lightly, circling her thumbs around the jut of their hip bone. Hange’s skin was soft— and yet, she could feel taught muscle beneath, their abdomen flexing with each thrust. 

Keeping one hand on their hip, Ella drifted the other one up their side. She traced their slight curves, circled around their shoulder, then skimmed the line of their collarbone. Hange was panting by the time she outlined their jaw, and then finally, tugged their head downward to meet her in a kiss. 

It seemed it was the right move; Hange’s response was a whining moan against her lips. Their hips stuttered out of time for a moment, but when Ella’s tongue slipped inside, their rhythm resumed. Hange’s hands found purchase in red locks, gripping the back of her head as though it was the only thing tethering them to the earth. 

In their minds, they both knew that the world was a mess. Finding the sea was the final death knell of reality. They were hated for something beyond their control. People craved their deaths. At any moment, this tentative peace the Scouts had created in the past year could be destroyed. 

The truth had turned dreams into nightmares— a hellscape full of hatred, oppression, and injustice. Innocence rooted in ignorance was now impossible. 

And yet, in this moment, none of that mattered. Their gasps weren’t dying breaths. Their aching wasn’t from wounds. Their cries weren’t out of pain. 

Hange came against Ella’s thigh, voice breaking along staccatoed whimpers. Red ran from their cheeks down to their chest. Elloise had never seen something more astonishing. 

* * *

Hange awoke the next day to sunlight and bare skin. 

It was a strange sensation, but not an unwelcome one. Serving as a Scout had taught them to never take a true bed for granted; they’d been sleeping on the ground the last several weeks, after all. 

Brown eyes opened. One was unseeing, the other was blurred, as was always the case without glasses. Still, Hange was close enough that they could take in the sight of Elloise and sigh.

A hand lifted on its own accord to tuck back red hair. Hange resisted the urge to squeal in delight at the sight of it down. Not that they didn’t like it when Elloise’s hair was up in its usual milkmaid braids— no, that was always adorable. But there was something… _angelic_ about how she looked right now, hair fanned out messily on white sheets, yellow rays of sunshine passing over barely-there freckles and soft skin on display. 

They could see it like it was yesterday: how she walked in with a cart laden with treats for their Scouts, how those green eyes flicked over, how cheeks tinged pink as they stumbled in conversation. And then their memory flickered over to when the teenagers infiltrated the kitchen, to Elloise seeing Eren’s titan form for the first time, to her bringing them cookies in the evening, and tea, and comfort, and companionship, and—

Well, Hange should’ve known they were doomed to fall from the moment she said hello.

The Commander of the Scouts brought their attention back to the present. Elloise made a noise, and her nose wrinkled. She blindly shifted closer to Hange. Their heart melted. If Levi could see their face right now, he’d probably gag.

Faces…there were too many in Hange’s memory that were now ghosts. Even after a year had passed, they still sometimes expected Erwin or Moblit to walk through the door for a meeting. 

Hange stroked Elloise’s cheek. They were glad she’d pushed past those walls, fragile though they’d been. She’d opened them up to risking their heart again, to giving this whole romance thing they’d always heard of and shrugged off a shot. Yes, they were still Commander. Yes, the world out there was bright and beautiful and terrifying all at once. But now Hange also had Elloise, and didn’t that make at least some of the pain worth it? 

Suddenly, a sigh puffed through petal pink lips. Hange watched, grinning, as Elloise wriggled about sleepily, seemingly fighting to stay in dreamland. 

Chuckling, the soldier leaned forward and pressed a kiss to their lover’s hairline. “Wake up, dearest. I’m certain we both have work to do.” 

Green eyes fluttered open. Hange fell even deeper. 

Elloise smiled softly. The bite mark on her shoulder was evident in the light of day. “That’s a nice way of saying you want me to make you something sweet for breakfast.” 

Hange snickered, then leaned forward to meet Elloise halfway. When their lips parted moments later, they grinned. “Well, you know I’ll be a dead man before I say no to you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I know season 4 is super serious right now, so I hope this satisfied your sweet tooth. 
> 
> Also, I have a Spotify playlist of what I listened to as I wrote it called "Hange and Ella." Good stuff from the live action Beauty and the Beast on there.


End file.
